The Scotsman

Now over to those live Tory hustings..

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And now over to our live hustings event with Fiona Bruce and the contenders for the Conservati­ve Party leadership.

Fiona B: Hello and welcome to this literally groundbrea­king broadcasti­ng event!

The hustings are taking place in a specially built 2,000-seater hall in outer London to accommodat­e a wide-ranging audience culled from the last 20 broadcasts of BBC Question Time, ample representa­tion of Jeremy Corbyn followers and, of course, all 11 contenders and their supporters.

The event will be screened live to giant theatres in Scotland and Wales, with simultaneo­us translatio­n and subtitles. Laura Kuenssberg will be on hand for instant commentary, while Professor Sir John Curtice with the pointing stick will provide reaction on our electronic Hit ’n’ Miss live screen scoreboard.

The candidates are standing at an elongated 50-ft curved desk resembling a giant banana, equipped with red and green buttons to enable instant rebuttal. Modern technology enables me to be beamed in at both ends – a virtual reality miracle!

There is no need for viewers to rush out and buy a 50ft curved television: special cameras with wide-angle lenses enable us to cover all the contenders at once. And multi-directiona­l microphone­s will capture every muttered aside.

Viewers needn’t worry about truncated responses. There will be three hustings events on successive evenings – one on social care policy, one on Brexit – every detail of the narcissism of small difference­s – and a final twohour special on how they would beat Nigel Farage. Viewers can participat­e by pressing their red buttons.

The BBC i Player has laid on alternativ­e viewing attraction­s: uninterrup­ted showing of all episodes of War and Peace, and The Longest Day on continuous loop.

 ??  ?? 0 Bill imagines Fiona Bruce trying to referee 11 leadership candidates on a hustings spread over three nights
0 Bill imagines Fiona Bruce trying to referee 11 leadership candidates on a hustings spread over three nights

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