ON TWITTER

#ALEVELS

Students down south got their A level results yesterday. Food chain Nando’s were offering a free meal to anyone with results.

@Harrybutler_2 wrote: “Show your A Level results to Nando’s and you get a free meal – if they’re that bad you get a hat and a name badge, you start tomorrow.”

@hans_ssx tweeted: “Nando’s is actually gonna be filled with 18 year olds crying whilst eating their free chicken.”

@Ogmurphy1 was chuffed: “After being forced to resit my A-levels by chronic epilepsy, then suffer relapse seizures during my exams with memory loss, balance disorder, anxiety and depression, I thought my game was up. But today, I discovered it was worth it – I managed to get ABB!!!”

@Racheldocca passed the cynicism exam: “It’s #alevelresultsday meaning we’re going to get yet another pile of tweets from the likes of Alan Sugar & Jeremy Clarkson about how they failed all their exams but are now millionaires.”

@Thepaulmachin wrote: “Congrats to everyone who got A-level results that they are happy with. For those who didn’t, I [messed] mine up royally and yet here I am having just seen Liverpool win the Champions League and Super Cup as my job.”

#KENCLARKE

Never mind Jeremy Corbyn, Liberal Democrat leader Jo Swinson suggested Ken Clarke or Harriet Harman be installed as prime minister of an “emergency government” to resolve the Brexit crisis

@xpressanny said: “Thanks but no thanks.”

@Johnnypapa64 wrote: “Since when does the leader of the Lib Dems get to pick who the next PM is? They can’t even pick their own leader, they’ve had 4 in the last 4 years. I’ve picked flowers that lasted longer.”

@Philpinfold wrote:” I think Ken Clarke would be the best option by a country mile for so many reasons. I’m sure if he were to embark on his long career afresh he’d be a Lib Dem in today’s climate. He’s a moderate with bags of experience, could be a golden end to a long successful career.”

@warren00761692 said: “Wait, how about Bob? He’s a fella I know down the pub, lovely chap, smuggles tobacco through the EU so knows their customs like the back of his hand. In other words, who gives a toss what Jo Swinson has to say, she’s no more voting power than I, and I voted out and won.”