Reid all about it! Loosehead sick of sushi but the purple and green meatballs are a winner

Scotland are now based in Hamamatsu, which is the largest city in the Shizuoka prefecture and home to titanic Japanese companies Yamaha and Suzuki.

Yesterday’s press conference was held at the Hamamatsu Museum of Musical Instruments but it was more a case of “music hall” when the veteran 32-year-old loosehead, Gordon Reid, who starts against Russia, took the mic.

“The food is a challenge for myself, but it is great trying different things,” said the Ayrshireman. “Over here I’ve tried sushi. It’s not really agreeing with me, to be honest, but I’m trying it. There are a couple of fast-food places I have quite enjoyed.”

Warming to the theme, Reid, pictured, added: “You go into supermarkets and see cooked chickens and other stuff. I saw these… they can only be described as like meatballs, but one of them was purple and one was green.

“I didn’t have a clue what it was, and I tried it, and I’m not going to lie, it was actually quite good. But I don’t have a clue what it was, so if any of the Japanese want to help me out… it wasn’t the best, but it was alright. And I am loving the Katsu chicken curry!”

LAND OF THE RISING PUN

One of the good things about being 6,000 miles away from home is being able to completely switch off from the politics, which was providing such joyless, incessant and inescapable bad mood music over the summer. Though I am now finding myself filling the Brexit void by getting drawn into the ongoing trade war between Japan and South Korea, which is getting quite spicy, I can tell you.

We all need an escape from politics and tomorrow the Scottish Parliament itself will take a brief break from it all and show the Scotland v Russia game. A pun-tastic e-mail, sensationally leaked to the Diary from Holyrood to Hamamatsu, was sent out to our beloved elected representatives and revered public servants, inviting them to come and watch the match.

“Can Scotland see off the Bears and progress to the next round, or will we be ‘mauled?’” the e-mail begins in slightly fatalistic, and inaccurate (Scotland need to see off Japan, too, to reach the next round) fashion. “We are delighted to announce that the game will be shown live in the Chamber Conference Room. Kick-off is 8:15am. So why not ‘try’ to make it along and eat a ‘scrum-ptious’ breakfast roll before ‘kicking off ’ your day.”

Wordplay truly worthy of a sin-binning.