Fireworks – a
Firework displays seem to be becoming more popular despite carnage wreaked upon animal world, writes Kevan Christie
To Bonfire Night and news has reached me of a cunning plot by a supermarket giant, who shall remain nameless, to finally rid the nation of the great firework menace.
The move by Sainsbury’s to ban the explosive devices in all 2,300 of their stores has been met with outpourings of joy, not seen since the Queen’s Silver Jubilee of 1977 which came with a limited edition coin.
Members of the wider horse-andhound-owning community up and down this great land have been cracking open the Pomagne in celebration as realisation dawns that someone has finally thrown them a bone.
Hot on the heels of being allowed into Edinburgh’s libraries, the dugs themselves are rejoicing that they might be free to hone their newfound reading skills in peace of an evening, without the persistent sound of explosions making the place feel like downtown Aleppo.
Sitting in their favourite armchair, next to a roaring fire with a large whisky by their side, the mutts can engross themselves in the new Dan Brown or such like – as loyal owners prepare them something tasty for a late supper.
For this firework malarkey has gone on for too long, dear reader, and frankly feels a bit played oot – time to draw a line under it perhaps in favour of a gentle, light-show projection.
It’s a carry-on that belongs in the past and in my book is fast achieving “piece of nonsense” status.
A Uk-wide petition to ban the public sale of fireworks to protect animals, children and people with a phobia attracted more than 300,000 signatures. Campaigners in Scotland have called for action to end the “misery” caused by fireworks after 94 per cent of 16,000 people who responded to a consultation wanted tighter controls on sales of the blasted things.
An outright ban would mean fire crews could get back to playing table tennis, safe in the knowledge that they’re not going to be called