Does being a good neighbour extend to feeding reptiles?

The neighbour was round,” says Youngest when I get home. Wants to speak to you. He’s coming back.” “Sounds ominous,” I say. “Do you think we’ve been noisy?” “Nah… oh there’s the door now.”

The neighbour is standing on the doorstep and says: “I’ve come to ask you a favour…”

I invite him in, offer him a seat and a drink to buy time.

He looks hesitant, serious, oh it’s going to be bad, I’m braced...

“How are you with reptiles?” he says. Not the words you necessarily want to hear from your new neighbour, but I’m so relieved he’s not here to complain I gush, “Oh fine, love them! I think reptiles are very cool.”

“Oh good, because we were hoping you might consider feeding our bearded dragon while we’re away for a few days,” he says.

“Yes, no problem, that would be great,” says a voice which I realise is mine when Youngest Child turns to look at me.

He’s telling me more but I’m not listening because the word ‘dragon’ has reminded me about Sharon Stone taking her husband to the zoo for a treat to pet a komodo that bit his foot, crushing his big toe and several tendons. They’re no longer together. Finally I manage “how big is it?” “About a foot.”

Ah. “Not a komodo then?”

“No, it’s a bearded dragon.”

“Oh yes, with the beard? I like them.” Again Youngest looks at me.

“That’s great, not everyone is comfortable. And how would you be with feeding him live food?” he continues.

“Mmmm,” I say, thinking mice, not got the stomach for that, but he says, “worms and crickets” and I’m so relieved I say “Oh, OK!”

“Why don’t you come round tomorrow, see if you can manage,” says the neighbour.

“Great, see you then!” I say, closing the front door.

I turn to Youngest.

“Aggggh! I can barely watch I’ma Celebrity.”

“So why didn’t you just say no? You were sooooooo enthusiastic,” she says and laughs. “I’ll come, it’ll be fun.”

“Thing is, I do like them. I like geckos and lizards, but I’ve never held or fed one,” I say.

“Well then, maybe it’s time you stepped out of your comfort zone,” she says.

And into the dragon’s den... n