We’re on the
The People’s Republic of Crossgates is not part of Dunfermline, whatever anyone says, writes Kevan Christie
Adevelopment has come to my attention, dear reader, that I cannot ignore any longer and feel compelled to address.
There’s gerrymandering afoot, with boundaries being redrawn all across the country faster than it takes a would-be Elvis spotter to travel the 32 miles from Glasgow to Prestwick on a visit to Glasgow Prestwick Airport. Whole villages are being labelled “near” somewhere bigger with more amenities – like a Ryanair airport on the outskirts of a major European city – in a bid to create new “communities”, albeit ones with affordable housing.
In this virtual world, you can pretend that you’re living in St Andrews where you can’t afford to buy, even though you’re actually nine miles away in Drumoig and are closer to Dundee, which is, of course, no bad thing. Nine miles, I tell you – that’s a Sunday School trip with juice and crisps in your packed lunch box before you even think about running along the West Sands to the strains of Vangelis. This carry-on, which is straying into “a piece of nonsense” territory, came to the picturesque Fife mining village of Crossgates, where I live, the other day. No sooner had I left the grounds of the estate in the Toyota Auris, 2011 plate, than I ran into three sets of temporary traffic lights (TTLS) that had turned Main Street into a scene reminiscent of the final hours of the Battle of Stalingrad.
Panic-stricken white van drivers had abandoned their vehicles in the middle of the road as they rushed to the takeaway to get their daily fix of Lorne sausage on a roll.
Squads of workers in hi-vis jackets crowded around a small transistor radio, eagerly waiting to hear what song Ken Bruce had chosen to kick-off his 9.30am Radio 2 show with before gathering again to listen to the Popmaster quiz at half-ten. Doing anything but working as they let their young hearts run free.
Motorists had time to run into the chemist and pick up a prescription in the time it took for the TTLS to