‘I’m more confident now’

From nature walks and bird watching to avoiding reality TV, Alison Steadman talks all things wellbeing with Gabrielle Fagan

Alison Steadman is full of funny tales about her roles over the years from Pam Shipman in hit series Gavin & Stacey ,to Beverly in Mike Leigh’s Abigail’s Party, which first put her in the spotlight back in the Seventies.

“Comedy’s my favourite but I love everything really. If it’s got a good script, I’ll go for it,” the Liverpoolborn actor, 73, declares. And she certainly has a varied CV -– with TV credits from Fat Friends to Pride And Prejudice, alongside movie roles including 1989’s Shirley Valentine.

Away from the screen though, there is one sadness in her life which, even nearly 25 years on, can still move her to tears – losing her mother, Marj, to pancreatic cancer.

“It was a long time ago but I still carry the pain with me,” says Steadman, an ambassador for Marie Curie, the charity which provides care and support for people with terminal illnesses and their families (she’s currently supporting Marie Curie’s Great Daffodil Appeal).

“I’m a very happy, positive, upbeat person most of the time, but I can still shed tears about the loss of my mum. I’ll forget she’s gone for a brief moment and think, ‘Oh I must call mum to tell her this or that’, or I’ll hear a piece of music she liked and it will hit me again that she’s not here. The grief never goes away.

“It was a very hard time, but the care at the end of her life from Marie Curie nurses, when she was in the hospice, was wonderful,” Steadman says. “They were so calm, gentle and understanding. I’ve never forgotten it, as it made such a difference to her last days.”

She says her mother was “a real character and such a calming, steadfast presence in my life. She would always talk to me and give me the courage to carry on. Her phrase was, ‘Never say you can’t. Always say you can, and you will – you’ll do it’.”

Here, the TV favourite opens up about ageing, why she hates reality shows, and has no plans to retire...

Will Gavin & Stacey return again? “I have absolutely no idea but I would love it if it did. When we got back together [for the last Christmas special], it was like a family reunion. We were all hugging, kissing, crying and laughing. Everyone seemed to click back together again as if there hadn’t been a gap, and it was so sad to say goodbye at the end.

How do you feel about getting older?

“Being in my 70s means I can’t rush around so much anymore – jumping out of bed and into the shower is a thing of the past – and I find learning lines harder. That’s so little to grumble about and I know I’m lucky to have got this far, and I certainly don’t feel old.

“There are two pieces of advice I try to follow: Morecambe and Wise’s ‘always look on the bright side of life’, and my mother’s ‘put a bit of lippy on and you’ll always feel better’.”

Will you ever retire?

“I never want to retire, but I suppose I’ll want to do less in time – although there are so many more good parts being written for older people nowadays, which hopefully means I can carry on even longer.

“Actually, now I feel sad for young

Alison Steadman is an ambassador for Marie Curie, whose nurses provided end-oflife care for her mother actors because there are so many of them coming out of drama schools and universities and it’s getting so much harder for them to find work.”

What does family mean to you? “Everything. I’ve always said my two sons, Toby and Leo, are my biggest achievement, and giving birth to them was the happiest time in my entire life. I’m still good friends with my first husband, Mike Leigh, and my partner Michael Elwyn and I have been together 23 years and have a really harmonious, strong relationship. He’s so important to me and when he’s working away, I absolutely hate it.”

What do you think about reality TV?

“I hate shows like Big Brother and think they should be banned. They’re totally ridiculous and a waste of time. People who’ve been on them tell me they’re stage managed, with controversy deliberately introduced to start rows, turn up the emotional temperature and slant things.”

How do you look after your health? “I don’t have any health problems. My diet is healthy – fresh vegetables, salads, fruit and very little meat.

I like getting outdoors every day and walking in woods and a nature reserve near my home, but as I get quite tired walking long distances, I’ll often get the bus back. It’s all about pacing myself.”

How do you look after your wellbeing?

“Bird watching is one of my favourite ways to relax, and I have bird feeders outside my kitchen window and watch the birds through binoculars. I don’t even stop baby rats coming to feed as well, because without getting too sentimental, I think all creatures should be given a chance.

“Seeing awful things on the news, like Syria where children are suffering so much, can make me cry. It makes you very grateful to live where we do.” ■

“There are so many more good parts beingwrittenforolderpeoplenowadays”