Christie reveals self-harm led to suicidal thoughts
● Scots speed skating star speaks candidly on mental health struggles
Scottish short track speed skater Eli se Christie has revealed how her pattern of self-harming led her to contemplate suicide.
In an inter view on the My Sporting Mind podcast, the 30- year-old spoke candidly about her struggles with mental health brought on by abuse and death threats on social media.
Christie shared how her father’ s terminal cancer diagnosis, injuries and money problems had impacted her life and how it almost became too much when her relationship with fellow speed skater Shaolin Sandor Liu ended.
“The first time I self-harmed was pretty much when I was going through the break-up with Shaolin. It wasn’t what caused it, there were a lot of things that led to that point,” said the three-time world champion.
“It got to around Christmas in 2018 and I’d just had enough. I don’t know what happened but I made it out of the other side, luckily. But it’s not been easy, it’s been hard.”
That year began with huge disappointment at the winter Olympics in P ye ongc hang. Christie headed to South Korea a hot favourite for multiple gold medals but returned empt y handed after falls in both the 500 mand1,500m and a disqualification in the 1,000 m. Christie, from L ivingston, who received death threats from South K orean fans following her collision with Park Seun g-hi at the Sochi Winter Olympics in 2014, explained: “It was after P yeongchang when I noticed something was really wrong.
“I’d received abuse onli ne and through social media after So chi and it was happening again,” added the Scot, who was also disqualified in the 500 ma nd 1,500 mat those Olympics.
“I began to question things, question myself and start thinking that maybe they are right, maybe what they are saying is right. Why was it happening to me?
“It was like a numbness. I’d sit there and feel absolutely nothing and I needed to feel something. It’s a stupid thing to explain because why would you want to hurt? But it takes the pain away inside, it was like a release of emotion.
“By this time I had also gone through some manic phases where I’ d spent loads of money I didn’t have and I’d built up some debt. When I couldn’t spend any more money or train because I was out injured, then I would cut.
“I would have never said I was someone who was suicidal but I’d had enough of life and I did nearly do it because I’d got into such a bad cycle of self-harm. I just remember being there that day thinking I’d had enough and I was going to press as hard as I can and do it.”
Two years on, Christie has found ways to turn her life around and is targeting Olympic gold in Beijing in 2022, after which she plans to retire from the sport .“Talking to people helps so much ,” she said. “Instead of picking up the blade, pick up the phone. There is always someone who will speak to you.”