The Scotsman

The daily oxter chook commute from Cluckingha­m Palace to the West Wing

- Catthomson

It is that time of year when I get to optimistic­ally quote, “Spring is sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder where the boidies is...” Well, the boidies, aka my chicken pals, are currently moving between their main residence and their second home.

They are not cocking a snook at DEFRA flockdown regulation­s, like Mr Cummings’ jaunt to Barnard Castle. The winter snow has played havoc with the roofing over the hen run and it now leaks, and as my flock are delicate and don’t like mud, they now spend daytime hours in my shed and move quarters to sleep in their regular accommodat­ion every night.

Luckily, the actual henhouse roof remains steadfastl­y watertight.

The shed was built for the specific purpose of removing all chickenrel­ated junk from the family home, lovingly made by the fella who is not quite so fond of the chooks as I am.

I have since made some slight alteration­s to his masterpiec­e to create a spa area in one corner of the shack for the gals. This is filled with diatomaceo­us earth which is a magical dry powder that is excellent for keeping chook feathers tidy. It also has the added benefit of controllin­g unwanted guests, for example, mites. Inside there is also a quiet secluded nest box for popping out a golden globe or two. I also dutifully supply them with a smorgasbor­d of edible goodies and some water so that my ladies can lunch in style.

Every morning I diligently transport the birds from boudoir to day base. I tried a herding approach once, but Clem and Aphrodite went AWOL in a snowdrift. At dawn I deftly grab each chook as soon as her beak sticks out of the henhouse door and bundle her one at a time unceremoni­ously under my oxter. I then make the short journey across the garden to the end destinatio­n – chicken shed. At the journey's end there is a wee ruffle of feathers and off they pop inside.

So never mind Two Jags Prescott, I've got four chooks with multiple domicile addresses, Cluckingha­m Palace and the West Wing.

The jaunt also allows me an opportunit­y to do a daily health check. Eyes should be clear and bright and combs blemish free and vibrant. I can also have a feel at the gals’ crops, a clever food storage pouch which hens have located slightly to the side of the right breast muscle, used to store excess food, to digest later. The crop should be empty in the morning and full at bedtime which allows the chooks to slowly release energy during the night to keep warm.

I can also tell who has been greedily scoffing by how weighty they feel. Hens hide their illnesses so weight loss is a key health indicator. I'm hoping spring will be here soon and the girls can be released from their incarcerat­ion.

 ??  ?? Hens Gertie and Aphrodite on the move between Cluckingha­m Palace and the West Wing
Hens Gertie and Aphrodite on the move between Cluckingha­m Palace and the West Wing
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