Live life in The slow lane
Electricity and Wi-fi free “canvas cottages” in Galloway are just the job, says
Itake out one of my ear plugs and listen. There’s a distant rumble of thunder and the rain is rattling down on the canvas. It sounds like an aeroplane taking off. My husband sleeps through it all, but I sneak ninja-like to the front of the glamping tent, using my phone as a torch, and roll back one of the canvas flaps that covers a transparent plastic window. What a storm. Even though we're in Galloway Dark Sky Park, with hardly any light pollution, the sky looks muddy and is lit by the occasional theatrical fork of lightning.
I’m tempted to wake my other half up to watch, but he looks so peaceful in his comfy bed.
We’re staying at camping operator Feather Down Farms’ newly opened location on a third-generation dairy farm on the Machars Peninsula in Dumfries and Galloway. Of course, we’ve brought some stinking weather with us, though it’s not like this all through our stay.
The site consists of electricity and Wi-fi free “canvas cottages”, each of which features an indoor flushing toilet (phew), a wood-burning stove with a hob on top, a large sitting area with sofa and a table to seat about eight, a Belfast sink, pots and pans and storage.
We’re in Hoolet - the Scottish word for an owl.
If you need wood for the stove, you can pick it up at the on-site honesty shop, which also sells milk, BBQ boxes, toilet rolls, jam, fresh eggs, candles, tea bags, books, board games, toothbrushes and anything else you might have forgotten. There are wheelbarrows to cart your luggage and any purchases.
The tents also boast homely touches, like bed linen, towels, a storm lamp, candles, and an oldfashioned coffee grinder with a windmill on it, which is probably a reference to the fact that the Feather Down Farms concept originated in the Netherlands.
There’s also an outdoor shower, at the side of the tent. I dreaded using this, but it was fun.
The wooden shower cabin is pretty large, with room to hang clothes, a tray for soap and a shower that’s made from a bucket with holes in it. There’s a sturdy lock, so at no point is the door going to swing open and expose your nudity to the field of dairy cattle, who would probably be instantly traumatised and cease producing milk.
As far as sleeping space goes, our tent had one double bedroom, another enclosed cupboard double
(ish) and another bedroom featuring bunks.
We’re probably the only people on holiday here who don’t have kids, and we wish we’d borrowed some, as small people are living their best life ever.
There’s a play area, with climbing frame, slide, swing, vintage tractor and bales of hay, as well as a little petting zoo, which includes a naughty escapee goat, who's never in his pen for long. There are also ducks, calves, Shetland ponies and hens.
Occasionally, we get a visit from the farmer’s collie, Sid. Even though he looks pretty ancient, he has a thrawn look in his eye. You could throw a stick for him a billion times, and he’d never tire. Luckily, so we don’t get tennis elbow, there are lots of small children around to entertain him.
It takes a while to cook when you’re using the indoor stove. My other half gets up at the crack of dawn to get the tea going. However, once we get bored of cold smorgasbords, we make use of the nearby chippy, Central Cafe, which offers Moby Dick-sized portions and also does excellent icecream with old school dragon’s blood.
If you’re bored of your jigsaw puzzle
and want to explore, their visitors’ book features plenty of suggestions. These include Riggs Bay, Cruggleton Castle, St Ninian’s Cave, Monreith, which has a bronze otter monument in tribute to Gavin Maxwell, Galloway House Garden and Woodfall Garden.
It’s also a 25-minute drive to Wigtown. Although the book festival is over, it’s still worth checking out their antique and book shops, as well as a new restaurant, The Plough, and cafe, Readinglasses.
We also made a pilgrimage to the Isle of Whithorn, where parts of 1973 film The Wicker Man were filmed, including the bit when the effigy is burned on the nearby cliffs at Burrowhead.
Nothing so scary happened on our visit, just a cup of tea at The Whithorn Trust visitor centre.
It’s lovely to have a weekend in the slow lane, when the only real drama is a midnight storm and watching the adventures of Houdini the goat.
I’m tempted to wake my other half up to watch, but he looks so peaceful
Prices with Feather Down Farms for a three night stay in a canvas cottage for a maximum 6 guests (up to 5 adults) with a private outdoor shower and flushing toilet at Balnab Whithorn Farm are from £420. To book, visit www.featherdown.co.uk or call 01420 80804.