Mustard Seed Itinerary

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It was to be a banner day in Nettle Village, a place of few refinements and little sophistication, and not as a rule given to ostentation. Nonetheless the women had been out early that morning with their brooms, the village dogs had been kept chained and public conveniences had been secured in order that no one, if caught short, would simply squat down in full view of the road on which the guests would at any moment now be arriving. Nettle Village, whose occupants were generally believed to be both prickly and litigious, was being called upon, on that special day, to put its best foot forward.

Po Cheng, the village schoolmaster, had viewed these preparations from the window of his small, two-room schoolhouse. This would be his first opportunity to observe a country wedding but he was by no means overjoyed at the prospect. His students, by order of Headman Ba, had been sent home early so that they could gather up the village chickens and return them to their hutches before the guests appeared.

He could hear music. Some sort of rehearsal must be taking place. What he could hear was a scratchy recording of the wedding hymn: We Have Chosen A Timely Day.

“Just so that everyone,” supposed Schoolmaster Po, “will know just where to stand until such time as they all end up dead drunk and passed out on the floor.” What could have been more ridiculous, in any case, than Beauty Ba, the most attractive woman in the village and the daughter of the headman, being married off to a fellow twice her age, with nothing to recommend him apart from the fact that he possessed a cow, and that Beauty Ba – by marrying him – could guarantee that her parents, when they grew old, would always have fresh milk to drink?

But why torment himself? The schoolmaster returned to his desk, where there was a goodly stack of essays waiting to be graded. The assignment had been to give instances in support of a proverb which stated that lengthening the duck’s legs would not turn it into a crane, and as luck would have it the essay atop the pile was none other than that handed in by Little Bully Ba, the younger brother of the bride-to-be.

About the author

Robert Mullen was born in Washington, DC, grew up in Virginia and now lives in Edinburgh.his published works include a volume of short stories, Americas, which was shortlisted for a Commonwealth First Book award. Mustard Seed Itinerary is published by Envelope Books, price £12.99