Softening the impact of sudden tragedy
Back in 2007, there was nothing to suggest that Kerina Toates’ whole world was about to come crashing down around her.
During the day, her son Matthew had been his usual self. They had been looking forward to moving home, the future was looking good.
But next morning, Matthew was found dead in bed. He was only 22 years old.
“I could not imagine how life could carry on without him. Life is never the same after you lose a child,” recalls Kerina.
Matthew had been diagnosed with epilepsy as a child, but medication had controlled its impact of the disorder.
However, doctors had warned there were still risks –
sadly, Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy (SUDEP) claims the lives of about 1,200 people in the UK each year, including more than 100 in Scotland. Tragically, many are young people like Matthew.
SUDEP deaths often occur during the night, and leave families tortured by questions – why, and could we have done anything? Some even face the added stress of a fatal accident inquiry.
Kerina, from Lyme Regis in Dorset, received support from SUDEP Action, a charity which supports and guides grieving families through the confusion and shock of their loss.
It helped Kerina and her mum, Iris, who found Matthew that awful morning, cope. Both opted to give something back by raising awareness of epilepsy and highlighting the charity’s work.
Sadly, Iris died last year. However, her decision to leave Matthew’s share of her estate to SUDEP Action means both are bringing hope and help to others. Kerina has also planned to leave a gift to the charity in her Will.
SUDEP Action states that about half of all sudden deaths caused by epilepsy are potentially avoidable.
Last year the charity recorded a 20.6 per cent increase in the support it delivered, with a 39 per cent rise in bereavement support calls.
As well as helping families through the legal maze and their grief, SUDEP Action has created patient safety tools to help reduce risks and funded vital research.
To find out more and keep the support flowing, visit sudep.org/gift-in-will or for support phone 01235 772850.
I could not imagine how life could carry on without him