Pour me a fresh cold glass of vindication

Oooooh!” Sounds of delight from Youngest Child in the kitchen float through the homeworkpod. “So pretty!” “What is?” I drag my attention from my work. “This. It’s a glass bottle full of milk and it has a shiny top.”

“Yes. We now get milk delivered,” I tell her. “They leave it on the doorstep.”

“Is that a thing?”

“Yes. It was always a thing until it wasn’t because of supermarkets but now it’s a thing again. Your great uncle was a milkman for decades. I’ve told you. He’s the one that turned Middle Child on to gold top.”

“Right. Well, this one has a shiny blue top.” “Yep. Full fat.”

“I’m loving this top. I might try some because it looks like it doesn’t have lumps.”

If you parent long enough, you get to enjoy the U-turns as children turn adult and accept there might be merit in some of the old ways. After a childhood refusing cow’s milk, here we are. Call it parental patience, call it fecklessness, call it the path of least resistance, but waiting it out is sometimes rewarded.

All through her years from zero to three and a half, I tolerated the breast feeding, with her only agreeing to stop because she was leaving nursery for school (think what you like but it was easier, probably healthier, and she had a kick like a mule). From three and a half to primary three, ‘cow milk is for baby cows’ she told nursery and school, sipping on water until they broke and left her alone. Meanwhile at home she consumed cow’s milk in sauces and shakes, oblivious. “Why poke an angry bear?” Eldest Child used to say, wise beyond his years.

And now here we are. I’d do a victory lap, but I’m working.

“I love it! It’s shiny.” she says. “But how do you get it open?”

OMG. I’ll be kind because the dyslexia testing revealed she’s of well above average intelligence, evidenced by a school career and life of masking and coping, plus saying ‘don’t be stupid’ is probably against the law.

“Shove your thumb down in the middle of the tin foil. The top. The shiny thing.”

“Oooh. So clever! And then you just put it back on. Genius. And you knew about this all the time?”

I did.