From golf to gratitude lists, share the things that make a difference
Men need to learn to open up and not pretend everything is fine, writes Abi
It’s a bit of a stereotype that men can have a hard time opening up about their feelings. But everyone struggles sometimes, and looking after our mental wellbeing is crucial – whether that’s reaching out to a mate, seeking professional help, or getting in an endorphin boost.
We asked male mental health ambassadors to share the things that have made a difference to their own mental wellbeing…
Shyam Dattani
Global VP of Searchmetrics and co-founder of All Men Cry – a new fashion brand raising awareness of male mental health, with profits donated to Samaritans (allmencry. com)
“A few things over the last couple of years have really made a difference for me. One is going to the gym more regularly, it gives you a bit of time out of the day to just look after yourself and have a break from everything else. Plus, it just feels good knowing you’re getting healthier and making a positive change.
“I also started playing golf with my dad. This has really surprised me, as I never thought a golf course was somewhere I’d want to be. But it’s a couple of hours of complete tranquillity. Spending time with my dad this way has been great, too. I booked us a course of six lessons together, it means I get to spend time with him, doing an activity we’re both enjoying. And when you’re playing a round of golf, you get to really talk in a way that’s not rushed – because you’ve got 18 holes of conversation to fill.”
Craig Mathie
Managing director of Bournemouth 7s Festival, taking place June 2-4, (bournemouth7s. com)
“In my professional life, things had been going incredibly well. I was made MD of an amazing festival business before I turned 30, and fortunately had been able to buy my own house. Yet after a pretty rough personal period, I realised I was really unhappy.
“I had struggled with my sexuality
for over a decade, and found it hard to adjust to living outside of the ‘normal’ societal framework of a wife and 2.4 children – I hated something about myself.
“When the sadness was at its worst, I knew I needed some expert help, and decided to see a professional counsellor. It made me realise no matter how well your life appears to be or how successful you are, everyone has personal challenges, and trying to put on a brave face or just ‘man up’ is without a doubt the worse thing we can do. I believe firmly that by talking about our experiences and being open with the troubles we face, we can make real change in our community.”
Ali Jawad
British Paralympic powerlifter and upcoming speaker at The Watercooler, a free two-day event on workplace wellbeing taking place May 25-26 (watercoolerevent.com)
“My mental health is crucial to my performance – it’s another training tool for me, the same as being in a gym. And for me, breaks from social media, breaks away from my phone, and time being in the moment with those closest to me are all crucial for my mental health.
“One of the hardest things to do in
this high-paced, technology-driven world is maintain personal mental health. There are so many filters, Photoshopped images, and pressure to be better. It’s virtually impossible to properly switch off.
“So my advice would be: take breaks from social media, put your phone down when you’re with people, stop judging your life on what you see on social media (it isn’t real!), and no emails in bed – that’s your safe space for sleep and relaxing.”
Charlie Inman
Creative director of Mindshine app – the ‘mental health coach in your pocket’ (mindshine.app)
“A few years ago, a lot of huge changes came into my life in rapid succession. This included my boss at work leaving, pushing me into a position of responsibility then my father died suddenly.
“Luckily, I had recently started a gratitude practice, the simple ritual of writing a list every morning of all the things you have to be thankful for in life. I also got better at noticing things to be thankful for, and seeing opportunities for celebration. It not only took my mind off my worries, but taught me to reframe them into opportunities for growth. I didn’t get to control what happened to me, but I got to decide how I wanted to react to it. I now have a life I never would have had without my gratitude practice.”