Best advice for any host is always ‘know you audience’
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Comedian Jo Koy got off to a weak start hosting the Golden Globes awards last weekend, but his big mistake was letting the audience scent blood.
“I got the gig ten days ago. You want a perfect monologue?” he asked and, with that appeal for sympathy, his fate was sealed. Subsequent reviews of his performance were disastrous, with industry bible Variety deciding he was “woefully underqualified” for the job.
Koy’s mistake was thinking it would be easy. The Hollywood big hitters go to bask in their own importance, not to laugh at someone else’s jokes. That’s why every other comic offered the job turned it down.
The only person who has ever cracked it is five-time-host Ricky Gervais, who skewered the industry with incendiary gags but got away with it by telling them the insults were jokes. Yeah, right.
The lesson from this is: know your crowd. It might be a wedding speech or a presentation at work, whatever the situation, understanding the audience is key.
Nervousness around public speaking is very common and usually revolves around a lack of confidence.
However, you can get away with a lot if you bring people onside from the very beginning.
I’m basing this on more than 25 years spent hosting events and award ceremonies in Scotland. The experiences range from the good to the bad and the very, very ugly.
My first time was in Lanarkshire, handing out the prizes after a highprofile comedian had warmed up the crowd. That was the plan, but after the silent reaction to his jokes switched to booing, he left the stage wishing me good luck and telling me he was going to switch careers.
At a Burns Supper in Edinburgh, the main speaker had to drop out due to a tabloid scandal and was replaced on the day by a TV weatherman from London.
I was a guest but was drafted in to give some support backstage where it became apparent the last-minute substitute had never been to a Burns Supper and was instead relying on a joke book from his local rugby club. I wished him well and he lasted five minutes.
Comedian Iain Stirling and I both died onstage at an event in Glasgow a few years ago at which the audience took extreme exception to an occasional profanity. Iain is now the voice of Love Island but I reminded him of that event recently and he said it still haunts him to this day.
And then there was the time I was hosting an event for a leading utility provider and ignored my cue to go onstage.
As the walk-on music ended, I waited and waited before strolling to the podium to announce, “well, you keep us waiting every day… so how do you like it?” It seemed like a good idea at the time. Remember, know your audience.
On that basis, the organisers of next year’s Golden Globes just need to find a host prepared to stroke and preen some of the biggest egos in the world, soothing them with platitudes and gentle reminders of how wonderful and talented they are and why they deserve to earn so much more than nurses, carers or shop workers.
Alternatively, just book Ricky Gervais again. We’d all pay to see that.