‘The state of farming is so parlous’
◆ There are knock-about moments in the new season of Clarkson’s Farm, but the Amazon series also shows the challenges facing agriculture, writes Rachael Davis
If there’s one thing that Clarkson’s Farm has taught us, it’s that rarely do things go to plan in farming.
The Prime Video series is an honest and brutal portrayal of life for British farmers, from the limits of regulatory red tape to the catastrophes that bad weather can cause, but amidst the calamity are moments of joy: beautiful, sprawling Cotswolds countryside, plenty of laughs with Jeremy Clarkson and his farm manager Kaleb, and the fun and games that come with owning livestock.
Ahead of series three of Clarkson’s Farm coming to Prime Video, let’s hear from Top Gear’s Clarkson, 64, and Kaleb Cooper, 25, about what is going on at Diddly Squat Farm.
Tell me about series three: What’s your focus this time around?
JC: We have a 1,000-acre farm, but since I bought it in 2008, we’ve only ever farmed 500 acres of it. The other 500 acres is wildflower meadows, streams, woods, and rough ground. There are no crops growing, no animals, just countryside, because the state of farming is so parlous at the moment.
I bet Kaleb that I could earn more money from doing little projects on unfarmed land than he could from farming 500 acres. So, while he was stuck with the traditional wheat, barley, and arable farming, I started harvesting blackberries, planting mustard, and using tiny little pockets of unfarmed land around the place.
KC: It was pretty wet over the summer, and we had a very wet harvest, so when you first see us, it’s a bad start. But we changed things up a little bit: Jeremy made me farm manager. I don’t know why he did it this year because I’ve been doing it for the last five years, let’s face it, but I’m farm manager on paper now…
Jeremy and I have a little bit of a competition where we see who can make the most money – me doing the traditional farming, and Jeremy working on the unfarmed land.
What sorts of things did you use the unfarmed land for? JC: We harvested the nettles which normally are just a nuisance and tried to make them into soup. I got pigs into the woods: woods are normally empty of cash, no money comes from them, so I just did little bits and bobs like that to see if I could make more than he did …
We grew mushrooms at the top of the farm where there used to be an American bomber base; the underground air raid shelter is still there so I thought: “We can grow mushrooms in there.”
Jeremy, your new pigs sound fun, but I hear it doesn’t quite go to plan?
JC: It turns out that pigs aren’t great mothers as a general rule, but the Sandy and Blacks breed that we got makes for a particularly poor mother…
The sows were giving birth, but it was always in the middle of the night, and it was bitterly cold. When you’ve got a sow that’s in trouble, you have to help out, and the fact is that (my girlfriend) Lisa’s hands are smaller than mine, so she was the first to say, “It has to be me, it would be ridiculous to put your big old, boxing gloves up the sow”.
She went literally shoulder deep. She did say afterwards at least it was warm up there.
Why is it so important to try and make the most out of every available bit of land? JC: It’s a way of trying to earn money from every little postage stamp of land without spoiling the countryside, so it’s not tearing up the land; picking blackberries and nettles doesn’t do anybody any harm.
This year, the spending was truly astronomical because prices were so high. You spend a huge amount of money then you hope that the weather is right and that the prices are right when you sell.
Kaleb, how has farming changed since you’ve been working in the industry? KC: I started at age 12 and I’m 25 now. I was really young and I picked up on what the farmers were saying, and it was difficult, but they were making money and business was thriving.
Certainly, I’ve noticed changes since in my own contracting business, that we have to be extremely careful and efficient and creative.
These days the government don’t seem to know what they want. There are no schemes anymore: schemes and grants and funding from the government keep food cheap for the public. Our red tape is much worse so we’ve got to spend more money to produce our food, but are in competition with cheaper imports.
This is exactly the sort of thing that I think people are waking up to and seeing on Clarkson’s Farm.
Are the two of you still having tiffs along the way?
JC: I struggle to argue with him about farming because he just knows more than I do… but when we do things like trying to repair the dam, that’s construction, and neither of us really know what we’re doing there. So that was one of our big arguments.
KC: I think in this series we have probably our biggest ever argument. But don’t get me wrong, I love the man.
I think when you’re good friends with someone, and you have that amazing chemistry, it makes everything easier. Yes, we can argue, and yes, we can shout at each other but, at the same time, we’re friends. Two minutes after an argument, we can just agree to disagree and go for a cup of tea or go to the pub and have a pint.
Clarkson’s Farm series 3 launches on Prime Video on Friday May 3.