Queen gives austerity some stick
As Royal ‘wands’ are replaced with DIY honours...
OF ALL the constitutional crises the Queen has faced in more than 64 years on the throne, a battle over a bundle of sticks must be the most bizarre. But this war of the ‘wands’ has led to a tense standoff with the Government over austerity cuts – and Her Majesty doing her own DIY honours.
In an astonishing scene, the Queen had to send a servant to find a ribbon to embellish a cheap document that Ministers decreed should replace the traditional Wands of Office that used to be kept by Royal officials.
The wands, wielded by senior Government Whips who by tradition hold sinecure positions in the Royal Household, are wooden sticks that look like billiard cues and are seen at State events. Until recently, when leaving office, the wand was given to the holder with their name engraved on it.
But I hear officials were upset to be told they would have to fork out £1,000 to the Treasury for the privilege of keeping the wands – thanks to austerity cuts made by David Cameron before the last Election.
Sir Desmond Swayne, who served as Vice Chamberlain of the Household while a Whip until 2014, was one of those told to pay £1,000 for his wand or be given a piece of paper recording his service instead. Sir Desmond said: ‘In days of old, the wand was snapped over the Queen’s knee and the broken bits were given back. Then in the 1950s, they introduced a hinge, so it could be given as an intact souvenir.
‘But under the cuts of the Coalition, you handed back the wand and it went to the next occupant of the office. You couldn’t keep it unless you paid £1,000. Otherwise, you were given a paper scroll. So I said, “Thanks very much, I’ll have the scroll.”’
The introduction of paper scrolls, however, has aroused its own concerns at Buckingham Palace, according to Sir Desmond. ‘When I went for my final audience with the Queen, she handed me this scroll and she said, “Now Mr Swayne, this scroll came in a very unattractive looking cardboard box. So we tied this little red ribbon around to make it more presentable.” I had this vision of the Queen tying this ribbon around it.’
Wands aren’t the only traditions to go. Sources tell me vellum letters patent – certificates that grant titles to new lords – have been replaced with cheap paper versions. The change is said to have infuriated new arrivals, with one telling me he had been hoping to put the coveted scroll up in his bathroom.
Buckingham Palace declined to comment. HIS ancestors once owned two castles, but the troubled 13th Duke of Manchester is getting used to some less comfortable accommodation: a jail cell in Las Vegas. The Duke, who has been imprisoned twice and lives in the US, was on bail after being arrested for burglary when he told police his wife Laura had cut him with a knife. However, he has now been accused of perjury and is locked up until his trial in September because he cannot afford bail. A TIN of dog food costs less than £1 in supermarkets – but how much do you think Cara Delevingne spends on her husky crossbreed Leo? The answer is a stunning £9 a day – because she insists on giving Leo a luxury brand called Wonderboo that comes in portion-controlled batches in fake jewelencrusted boxes! So Cara isn’t the only one on the supermodel diet…
What Her Majesty said to her Vice Chamberlain about his cut-price scroll Now Mr Swayne, this scroll came in a very unattractive looking cardboard box. So we tied this little red ribbon around to make it more presentable