QUOTES of the week

‘We came out to the piazza and it looked like Dante’s inferno.’

Agostino Severo, who was visiting the historic Italian town of Amatrice when it was destroyed by an earthquake.

‘We have lots of chairs but you can sit on the floor if you think it will make people like you.’

Notice outside a Bristol restaurant pokes fun at Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn after Traingate.

‘Enough now. It’s your turn to put out the bins.’

Emma Agnew orders her broadcaster husband Jonathan to return from the Rio Games after he was pictured sipping a cocktail on Copacabana.

‘My dad suggested I register for a donor card – he’s a man after my own heart.’

Comedian Masai Graham wins the best one-liner award at the Edinburgh Fringe.

‘When other girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I wanted to be a vampire.’

Angelina Jolie

‘Borders are the worst invention ever made by politicians.’

EU chief Jean-Claude Juncker dismisses calls to tighten controls over the migrant crisis.

‘He doesn’t know his Acas from his Nalgo.’

Sir Antony Jay, who died last week aged 86, in one of the most memorable lines from his hit political comedy Yes, Minister.

‘We don’t do that in the South, you know.’

Mary Berry scolds fellow Bake Off judge Paul Hollywood for dunking a Jaffa Cake in his tea.

‘I can count my friends on no hands.’

Singer Liam Gallagher is happy being a loner.

‘It was never in the script that he takes his top off – it just made sense to me. That’s the worst thing about it – it was my

bloody idea.’

Aidan Turner says he never realised that appearing bare-chested in Poldark would cause such a stir.