I adored cheeky scaffolder Sam... then it all came crashing down
THERE was a cheeky builder from Redruth, who told the world – and his wife – the whole truth! ‘I never wolf-whistled – I’m a married man. Only took a selfie,’ pleaded scaffolder Sam Wayne, 36, after he took a photograph of himself with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. The image made many front pages and led to media outlets around the world bidding for their own chunk of Cornish hunk, from Loose Women to People magazine in the US.
Well, I’ve been looking at this delicious silly season story in more detail, and here’s the scoop.
The real story here is not about a Duchess who, while accompanying her Prince (in spivvy skinny jeans, Hush Puppies and newly cropped pate) on a tour of Cornwall, crossed paths with a muscly pin-up builder (and phew, could there be a fitter contender for Mr September in the inevitable, forthcoming Cheeky Builder calendar?). It’s all that – and more! Consider the timeline of what happened (available to view on Sam’s Facebook page).
First Sam changed his profile picture to a photo of him taking his second Royal selfie – he already had one in his collection, of him in a hard hat with Prince Charles.
ACOUPLE of hours later, it was updated to the selfie itself. Then he started posting all the accompanying news stories, the shoot he did with Mail-Online (the one where he’s carrying four boards, biceps and crotch bulging) plus comments like ‘milking it!’ and ‘So far spoken to daily mail, daily express, pirate fm and people magazine US, I’ve made the royals famous again!’ And then the plot thickened. Back in April, Sam tied the knot with a curvy blonde called Hayley, who works for a Redruth legal firm.
Now Mrs Wayne, I suggest, took a dim view of suggestions that her hubby had been flirting with a slender brunette and future Queen. A very dim view.
There is no other explanation for the fact that Sam’s posts became suddenly shrill and defensive. He changed his profile picture back to his wedding day with his wife. He started accusing the papers of stitching him up, of denying he’d been fresh with Kate, denying there were ‘gestures and wolf-whistles’. He even accused my trade of ‘just stereotyping scaffolders/builders…’. Oh, Sam. Don’t do this to me. I almost had you down as a possible Man of the Year – good with your hands, smiley, cheeky, ripped. Married, yes, but devoted and loyal, proud to tell the world that you loved your missus and you’d never give another woman the glad eye, not even a beautiful Duchess who strolled past you at work.
But now I fear you doth protest too much.
Stop pretending to be the victim here. We all saw the way you looked at Kate, and Kate looked at you – and so did Hayley. You fancied the pants off each other.
It was on all the front pages – and you got busted.
Maybe don’t play it again, Sam.
ONE in five mothers regrets choosing her baby’s name, even though it’s one of the few things about parenting you can sort of control. I still have the list of all the baby names I considered (Titus, Tosca, Theodora… I know).
We called our first Ludovic. Partly because it is the only thing my husband and I have ever agreed on, and partly because my brother Leo, who ended up being in at the kill at the hospital, said ‘Call him anything… so long as it’s not Ludovic!’ when he heard our choices. The problem with names is not regretting them – it’s the knowledge that you make the bed your poor child has to lie in for ever.
THE BBC led bulletins on the death of Gene Wilder, aged 83, after a ‘battle’ with Alzheimer’s. To open the programme with the announcement that an antique actor has popped his clogs after a long illness grates. The Beeb manages to cheapen both news and death.
PING! An email from a PR. Will I pretty please tweet a picture of myself with a cuppa to mark the beginning of Helen’s trial in The Archers, which starts tomorrow, and in support of a campaign against domestic abuse? Er, let me think… no. As much as I applaud the campaign (#solidaritea) to launch a thousand sips, I don’t think a picture of my mug plus mug will do anything except raise irritation levels on Twitter.