QUOTES of the week

‘I am very much a germaphobe.’ President-elect Donald Trump vehemently denies claims of a lurid tryst with prostitutes in a Moscow hotel in 2013. ‘Are you sure, old girl?’ Clare Hollingworth, who died last week aged 105, recalling the comment of a British Embassy official in Warsaw after she revealed the Second World War had started. ‘He’s not even a man of principle now – just a badly dressed mannequin being manoeuvred into place by incompetent window dressers.’ Labour MP describes Jeremy Corbyn, after the party leader backtracked on key policy issues. ‘I will not sit at home gathering dust.’ Geraldine Forster, who is backpacking around the world, aged 72. ‘I’m female and refuse to live a conventional life... I have lovers three decades younger.’ Madonna claims her lifestyle leaves people feeling uncomfortable. ‘God, I just feel like a gangly monkey here.’ Ryan Gosling, the star of La La Land, after he first started rehearsing the film’s dance scenes. ‘Nobody talked to them about our way of life here. Nobody told them to queue, nobody told them to be nice.’ Integration tsar Louise Casey says new arrivals to the UK must be taught some basic rules. ‘I don’t understand the mentality of spending a good deal of money on a handbag. I’d rather have a carrier bag with the money in.’ Actress Brenda Blethyn isn’t one for pricey accessories. ‘In her risque nude body suit, she looked like a splitting sack of over-ripe cantaloupes.’ Feminist Camille Paglia after watching a performance by Mariah Carey. ‘I’m with Betty Bassett.’ Ben Shephard cheekily compares his Good Morning Britain co-star Susanna Reid, left, to a liquorice allsort.