Little Black Book... ...for Billionaires
Wonder how Johnny Depp could blow £240k a month on staff ? A new guide lists all the mad must-have services for the super-rich, from a cigar adviser to a ‘wellness concierge’ – and even a man to help them give it all away
THERE’S never been a trickier time to be one of the stinking rich. Take poor old Johnny Depp. Last week, legal papers lodged by his former management company revealed he got through a staggering £21 million in the past year alone – including £24,000 a month on wine, £159,000 a month on private planes and £238,600 a month maintaining his staff of 40. But then today’s super-rich need far more help than a chauffeur and a butler or two. This is where Spear’s can help. The magazine and research company publishes a directory of 500 advisers, consultants, agents and managers for Ultra High Net Worth Individuals (UHNWIs) – and this year’s entries are so eclectic they’ll stretch your credulity, as well as your wallet. Just don’t query what they cost. As they say, if you need to ask you can’t afford it. Here’s our pick of the most peculiar...
COUNSELLOR TO HELP KIDS COPE WITH CASH
WITH kind eyes and a gentle smile, Mark Boyden, a psychotherapist and executive coach, is the go-to man to ensure the billionaire’s family maintains an emotional and mental even keel.
As well as dealing with issues that affect us all, such as stress, addiction and anxiety, Boyden and his team can also help steer the children of UHNWIs through the special problems that come from having way too much money, and help the billionaire deal with personal problems that arise in the ‘family offices’ – the term for businesses established by UHNWIs to manage the wealth of themselves and their dependents. Money, it seems, buys you a better class of unhappiness.
YOUR SUPERYACHT SUPERVISOR
It’s all very well to have bought your superyacht, but you have to keep the thing afloat. With estimated running costs of £3 million to £5 million per year, the ultimate billionaire’s status symbol is a business operation in itself. And, like any business, the superyacht needs a management team. The best man to handle everything from hiring a crew to supervising a refit is undoubtedly Jonathan Beckett, the eminence grise of the superyacht world, who has been afloat since 1975. ‘When someone says, “jump” then you jump,’ he says, displaying a humility that makes him such a firm favourite with his wellkeeled clients.
THE CIGAR CONSULTANT
DIRK Seyfried, manager of the exclusive James J. Fox Cigar Merchants on St James’s Street in London, holds the unusual qualification of being a Master of Havana Cigars. There is nobody better qualified in Britain to advise plutocrats how to burn through their money, especially with boxes of cigars costing hundreds of pounds.
Although Seyfried is happy catering to the needs of the UHNWIs, he finds that cigars are classless. ‘You can find a huge selection of people from all over the world and all types of background, happily enjoying the moment with fellow cigar smokers,’ he reassures us.
BOOKIE FOR BILLIONAIRES
There’s no need for billionaires to slum it in the local bookmaker’s. Instead, many UHNWIs head to the bookie Fitzdares, established and run by the magnificently named Balthazar Fabricius, and backed by Zac and Ben Goldsmith. Located in a Mayfair townhouse, punters – who have to be proposed and seconded for membership – gamble many thousands of pounds on all manner of events, and can even bet on private
THE PHONE CONCIERGE
FOR most of us, buying a mobile phone involves a hours of queuing and haggling on the high street. Your UHNWI will deal with Adam Toop of Adam Phones, who provides a ‘concierge service’ for mobile phones. Lost or damaged your handset on your way to lunch? A new one will be couriered to you before you have started dessert. Fancy a Vertu Signature 18ct red gold and stainless steel mobile phone, right, for around £26,000? No problem – just give him a bell. backgammon tournaments at exclusive London clubs. Fabricius won’t forget his biggest ever loss, when a client bet £50,000 at 10-1 on a noscore draw in a football match between Watford and Crystal Palace. Although that hurt, Fabricius is still very much
in business.
PHILANTHROPY ADVISER
WHEN it comes to describing his approach to advising UHNWIs on how to dispose of their riches, David Carrington is fond of quoting Aristotle: ‘To give away money is an easy matter and in any man’s power. But to decide to whom to give it, and how large, and when, and for what purpose and how, is neither in every man’s power nor an easy matter.’
Carrington hopes to promote wise spending, enabling his clients to have ‘helped someone do something very special’. A bit worthy perhaps, but really, what’s not to like? Far better to help the deserving than spend it all on superyacht fuel.
YOUR ALUMINIUM GET-OUT-OF-JAIL CARD
EVEN billionaires can have their velvet collars felt by the long arm of the law, so it’s vital that they can call on a man who can ensure that PC plods off with the minimum of fuss. That man is criminal lawyer Barry Tucker, whose wallet contains his trademark aluminium business card engraved with the words ‘Get Out of Jail’. Plenty of UHNWIs keep his card about them at all times to deal with all range of matters, from being caught doing 120mph in the Aston to busting errant sons out of the slammer after they’ve been banged up for being drunk and disorderly outside Cirque le Soir at 3am. ‘It is as important to have a good criminal lawyer in your little
black book of contacts as it is to have your GP,’ says Tucker.
ONE’S ART ADVISER
WHY buy a poster of Monet’s Water Lilies when you can have the original? If you really are in the market for splashing serious millions on some oil on canvas, then you need someone to hold your manicured hand. Who better than Violet Raikhel-Bolot, who can advise you over provenance, authenticity, upcoming auctions, value, transportation, and financing? With too many UHNWIs being sold some suspiciously new ‘old’ masters, the art world is a place where many a billionaire has been burnt. An adviser removes that risk, and can ensure that your superyacht’s staterooms are more Van Gogh than Van Guff.
THE NUCLEAR BUNKER BROKER
PEOPLE are worried about Doomsday once again, and no more so than the uber-minted. And what better response than burrowing underground – or buying up a luxuriously-converted nuclear bunker or rocket silo in which to see out Armageddon? This is where Edward Peden & Dianna Ricke-Peden, bunker agents supreme, come in handy. With properties such as the Atlas E Missile Site in Kansas on sale for $3.2million, they may ensure your family and your wealth survive a Trumpinspired nuclear conflagration. Problem is, will there be anything left to spend your money on when it’s all over?
AVIATION DEALER
Airports are such gruesome places, and one of the perks of enormous wealth is that you can go straight from the back of your limousine to the steps of your Gulfstream. Really, there’s no point in buying a seat – even in First – when you can buy the whole plane. And for that, you need an aviation broker, such as Paris-based Bruno Perdriel of Jetbox, who can find you just the wings you want for your frequent hops to Costa Rica. And, if you can’t be bothered to have the hassle of owning a Learjet on top of your superyacht, then of course Monsieur Perdriel can organise a private charter flight at the drop of a pilot’s liveried cap.
CYBER SECURITY MAN
AFTER spending a few hundred million pounds on commissioning your superyacht, perhaps christened MV Fatcat, the last thing you want to happen as you moor up off Monaco is for your enemies to hack into your sensitive financial data stored on your onboard computer systems. This is where Robin Clifford steps in.
This smoothie former officer in the Royal Dragoon Guards will equip your floating palace with all sorts of anti-virus wizardry, and electronic countermeasures that can jam signals going to and from the boat. Perfect for foiling teenage offspring with a taste for arranging drunken parties on social media.
WHERE TO GET A GOOD STUFFING
TAXIDERMY has come a long way from the stuffed carp or pheasant above the fireplace in the saloon bar down the local. At the very top end of the stuffed animal food chain can be found Ferry van Tongeren and Jaap Sinke, two heavilybearded Dutchmen who preserve a range of exotic creatures from mandrills to caymans, and from ring-tailed lemurs to red-billed blue magpies. Although Sinke and van Tongeren say they won’t stuff the family pet, there can be little doubt that if a billionaire asked for their pet cheetah to be preserved, they’d be reaching for the formaldehyde…
THE CLOSE COUNSEL
WHEN we mere mortals need a spot of advice, we turn to our nearest and dearest, be it a partner or an old chum. Not so the uberrich. They have what are known as ‘close counsel’ – men and women who can steer them through the pitfalls encountered on the gilded byways of billionairedom.
About to give evidence to a Select Committee? Needing to brush off some troublesome enquiries? What to wear when you announce some poor results at your AGM?
Then you need a man like David McDonough, whose ear will always be open to your woes and who, after 40 years in public relations, knows how to pour oil over even the most troubled of waters.