Act like a real star, Gwynnie and get some coffee cake down you

GWYNETH Paltrow, right, a purebred blonde who subsists on goat’s milk alone, has been put back in her box by our own Joan Collins, who says Ms Paltrow’s ‘goat’s milk cleanse’ is a fad and clean eating is silly. Then Miss Collins revealed she starts her day, as all normal people do, with a mug of builder’s followed by two cups of ‘proper’ coffee. Game, set and match to Alexis, Gwynnie.

PS: I once invited Miss Collins to tea. She put in so much sugar the teaspoon almost stood up, and laid about the coffee and walnut cake (£3.99 from Tesco) as if she hadn’t eaten for a week. Our kind of gal.