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Q What did your parents teach you about money?
A NOTHING. They tried, but I did not have any interest in money other than spending it. My dad in particular was shrewd with money. He worked for the AA and my mum was a hairdresser. They are retired now and live comfortably in a four-bedroom house in Swindon.
Q How much pocket money did you get as a child?
A NONE. My nan secretly slipped me money for sweets. Then I got a paper round paying £3 a week. It meant getting up horribly early and cycling five miles a day. I hated it.
Q Have you ever been really hard up?
A YES. I devoted my 20s to acting and poverty. There would be months of no work. I signed on the dole regularly. Every time I got work, I would follow the classic Bohemian way of spending that money as quickly as possible. Then you experience opulence for a few days, rather than slightly elevating your state of poverty. The only way to enjoy life when you are poor is to go on a binge and have an explosion of experiences with what cash you have. Otherwise you will just be poor and sad forever.
Q Was it a struggle to make ends meet?
A NOT really. At the time, I was living in a disused pub with a band. It was so cold I had to put the toothpaste under the hot tap to squeeze anything out of it. But it was pretty much rentfree and every two weeks, when my Giro arrived, I would buy super economy baked beans and pasta. I was more cash-strapped later when I had a mortgage and huge tax bill to pay.
Q Have you ever been paid silly money for a job?
A YES, for voiceovers. I used to do more, but particular voices go in and out of vogue according to what market research tells the client. At the moment, Northerners are seen as more trustworthy. The fees I earned for voiceovers ran into tens of thousands of pounds. The best time was when I was the voice of Siemens phones. Each time it brought out a new mobile, I’d just have to say the name of the phone and they would edit it in with the straplines I had already done. The whole thing would take half an hour and that would constitute a new recording fee. I miss those phones.
Q What was the best year of your life, in terms of money made?
A IT WAS the year 2000. I had four lead roles in feature films and a massive advert for Barclays. That put me in an insane earning bracket. I made £1million in today’s money. All I learnt was that the more you have, the easier it is to spend. You go on more expensive holidays, eat at better restaurants and spend more on drinks. You walk out of a nightclub without thinking twice that you’ve spent three grand. I would never spend that now. But it’s a trap you easily fall into.
Q What is the most costly thing you have bought for fun?
A A RED 1973 Alfa Romeo GT Junior for £6,000 in 2001. There are only 26 of them left and so it’s now worth £30,000, even though it is always breaking down.
Q What is the biggest money mistake you have ever made?
A I SPENT £6,000 on a second-hand Talbot Excalibur campervan to go to Glastonbury. The festival was a disaster on so many levels. I should never have gone. I am still scarred by everything that happened. I was not in the right state of mind. I behaved terribly, did untold damage to my career, and the campervan got trashed. It was awful.
Q What is your best money decision?
A BUYING my home in Fitzrovia, central London, in 2001. When I was flush, my accountant made me buy it. He said every time he got my bar bills, he and the girls in the office would read them out loud and have a really good laugh. Then he told me to buy a property.
So I bought half a Georgian house in Fitzroy Square – a two-bedroom maisonette with rooftop garden. It cost £360,000. I didn’t think of it as an investment. Now everyone wants to live in my square. It is about the poshest place in London. It would be gauche to say how much it is worth, but the flat next door is on sale for £3.5million. I still have a mortgage on it. If I sold it, I’d never be able to buy it back.
Q Do you save into a pension or invest in the stock market?
A NO. EACH time I have invested money in shares, it has evaporated. I will never invest in a financial scheme ever again. The stock market is a mug’s game, and I am a mug. I’ve lost tens of thousands of pounds, and fallen foul of Ponzi schemes and boiler room scams on the advice of friends. I’ve got nothing now – no pension or savings. I live hand-to-mouth. Money comes in, then goes out, and my wife panics. Then luckily something drops into my lap. A I WOULD abolish the current method of crystal ball taxation, where you pay your estimated tax bill in advance. My earnings go from £250 a week if I’m doing theatre to about ten times that in a day if I’m on a decent film. I have had to borrow money against my home in the past to pay an estimated tax bill on income I did not earn. I may pay £80,000 tax on a year when I earned £15,000. It is insane.
Q If you were Chancellor, what would you do first of all? Q Do you think it is important to give to charity?
A YES. I take part in charity events and donate paraphernalia. But I’m sceptical about financial donations as I’ve heard most of the money can be kept for running the charity. Nick Moran was talking to Donna Ferguson.