My stem cell donor saved my life. Now I’m his best man!
CHOOSING a best man can be a tricky task for any groom, but for Paul Rogers there was no contest. Despite having met only eight years ago, the bond that the 51-year-old engineer has forged with retired boat-builder Brett Dingwall is stronger than a lifetime of shared experiences.
Just over ten years ago Brett, now 67, was given the devastating news that he had life-threatening acute myeloid leukaemia, a type of blood cancer.
His last chance of survival was a stem-cell transplant – but he needed to find a donor with matching tissue type. The transplant would involve stem cells being extracted from the donor’s bone marrow and then infused into Brett, to grow into healthy new blood cells and replace his failing immune system.
Brett and his wife Janice, 61, were told that if a suitable donor wasn’t found, any infection could kill him within weeks.
His shock diagnosis came after weeks of mild flu-like symptoms, a strong metal taste in his mouth and a pain in his side.
Acute myeloid leukaemia strikes about 3,000 people a year in the UK – most over the age of 65.
‘It was a total nightmare,’ recalls Brett, a father of six. ‘I thought I might have some kind of infection – I never imagined cancer.’
In October 2006, he began intense chemotherapy. By the start of February 2007 the treatment had worked, but Brett was still staring death in the face.
As an only child with no siblings to turn to for stem cells, he would need donor cells from a stranger.
He was put in touch with Anthony Nolan, a charity that matches people in need of stem cells with others willing to donate them. Incredibly, just a week later Brett and Janice were overjoyed to hear there was a perfect match.
The procedure involves a bag of specially treated blood, rich with stem cells from the anonymous donor, being fed into the patient.
Brett says: ‘It took just half an hour. I couldn’t believe it was so simple.’
One hundred days after the transplant, he was given the news he had been hoping for: he was completely cured.
‘It somehow didn’t feel real, that I’d been given this second chance,’ he recalls. ‘Every day felt so precious and I really wanted to thank that stranger who’d saved my life.’
Patients and donors are allowed to communicate anonymously through Anthony Nolan for two years, after which, if both parties consent, they can swap details.
Two years is considered long enough to ensure the recipient is healthy and well.
Brett sent a letter and a few weeks later received a reply. He says: ‘The donor said his dad had died of leukaemia, so it was amazing to know he’d saved a life.’
Shortly after the two-year anniversary, Brett met his donor – an occasion he describes as ‘incredibly emotional’.
For Paul, the meeting brought back poignant memories of his father Tommy, who had died from the same disease in 1991, at just 48, before a donor could be found.
Paul says: ‘Having Dad taken from us so young was devastating. I vowed I’d do everything I could to save a life in his memory and joined the Anthony Nolan register straight away. When I got the call to help, I jumped at the chance. And meeting Brett was surreal – it was like Dad was alive again in some way.’
WHEN someone needs a transplant, Anthony Nolan scans its registers around the world to find a matching tissue type. Two weeks after being matched with Brett, Paul attended hospital to donate. He recalls: ‘I sat on a bed with a tube in each arm, one taking blood out and treating it in a machine to remove stem cells, then returning it back into the other. It was all over in four hours and wasn’t painful at all.’
A few weeks later Paul, who has a 23-year-old daughter, was delighted to hear the transplant was a complete success. ‘I had no idea if this was a small child, a man or a woman – all I cared about was that I’d helped someone, maybe even saved a life. Finally meeting Brett and his lovely family made me realise what an amazing process this is.’
Incredibly, both men lived in Hertfordshire: Paul in Hitchin, a 25-minute drive from Brett, in Bricket Wood. They met regularly and over the years their families became firm friends.
So when Paul proposed to his girlfriend Laura, 29, he knew immediately who his best man would be.
He says: ‘To have Brett at the wedding in May, telling our story in the speech, was perfect. Dad would have loved that.’
Brett says he has Paul to thank for him meeting his five grandchildren. ‘Never mind being his best man, I owe him more than that – I owe him everything,’ he says.