You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

Anyone who knows Ian Botham knows that if you go out with him you come back in a very bad shape. West Indies cricket titan Sir Viv Richards tells me that even he can’t go drinking with Beefy. I can’t drive because I can’t handle listening to the woman on the satnav. I auditioned for that job and didn’t get it. I’m in The Crown now so it worked out in the end. Actress Samantha Baines admits at the Edinburgh Fringe that she suffers satnav envy. Being an actor is great because you get a chance to snog someone other than your wife. I had to kiss Helen McCrory about four times. I said to my wife, “I have to do it to pay for the holiday.” John Bishop seems to have enjoyed working with Helen McCrory, right, in ITV drama Fearless, a little bit too much. It’s gone insane. I just did some talking over a TV show and it’s changed my life. I’ve made idiots into millionaires – how has that happened? Comedian Iain Stirling may be the narrator for Love Island, but he’s not impressed by the contestants. It’s Andy’s fault it came out that I fancy Feliciano Lopez. He said, “My mum thinks you’re gorgeous.” I went beetroot and ran away. Judy Murray explains how the world found out that she had a crush on one of her son’s tennis rivals. My family need special trackers… they keep moving around and I can’t find them. Actor Stephen McGann confides in me his suspicion that his family are avoiding him during the launch of his new history book, Flesh And Blood.