QUOTES of the week

The Scottish Mail on Sunday - - Comment -

‘If the cast of Mrs Brown’s Boys get done for tax eva­sion it’ll be the fun­ni­est thing they’ve ever done.’ Twit­ter user Tony Mack­lin af­ter three mem­bers of the BBC comedy al­legedly put £2mil­lion into an off­shore fund in Mau­ri­tius. ‘Trump is one of the least re­flec­tive and in­tro­spec­tive men that has ever breathed oxy­gen.’ Ac­tor Alec Bald­win, who im­per­son­ates the US Pres­i­dent on satir­i­cal show Satur­day Night Live. ‘We’re now at the OJ and white Bronco stage.’ Twit­ter user Mark Di Ste­fano evokes the mem­ory of the US star’s famous car chase as 22,000 peo­ple tracked on­line Priti Pa­tel’s flight to Bri­tain be­fore she was fired by No10. ‘I got shown who’s boss.’ Surfer An­drew Cot­ton, who broke his back af­ter be­ing wiped out by a 60ft wave off Por­tu­gal. ‘Quite how I have been so ver­bose about the most bor­ing per­son I’ve ever writ­ten about eludes me.’ An­drew Lloyd Web­ber is frank ahead of pub­li­ca­tion of his au­to­bi­og­ra­phy. ‘They were rich times and I in­dulged my­self with all my fan­tasies. Now they’d think I was a dirty old perv.’ Sir Michael Parkin­son ad­mits he wouldn’t dare flirt with chat-show guests to­day. ‘He was the don of all things Ital­ian, hang­ing out of the front door with a fat ci­gar and a glass of some­thing splen­did.’ Chef Jamie Oliver pays trib­ute to An­to­nio Car­luc­cio, who died last week aged 80. ‘I’m like Vic­to­ria Beck­ham – you know, when she’s re­ally, re­ally hun­gry, she has a piece of let­tuce.’ Anne Robin­son, who says that older women on TV have to be clever and thin.

‘Ap­par­ently my curt­sey hasn’t been seen in Court cir­cles for about 400 years.’ Ac­tress Helen McCrory, who was con­grat­u­lated by the Queen on her curt­sey af­ter re­ceiv­ing her OBE.

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