QUOTES of the week

‘I do wonder why more women don’t just record these sleazebags on their iPhones. Put the phone in your pocket, hit record and catch them out.’ Actress Helen Mirren on how women can stand up to sexual harassment. ‘I’ve never been in a physical confrontation at all. I’m a complete weed.’ MP Jacob Rees-Mogg, who was caught up in a brawl while giving a talk at a Bristol university. ‘Zis means war.’ German journalist Tanit Koch jokes after learning that Thomas Cook holidaymakers can now reserve hotel sunloungers. ‘I was paying off my mortgage and buying a sports car in my head. We thought we were looking at the real McCoy. Now I just want to cry.’ Andy Sampson, who thought he had found 54 Roman coins until he discovered they were props for BBC comedy Detectorists. ‘A closet’s a really nasty place to live. It’s dirty and full of skeletons.’ Sir Ian McKellen urges gay men to put happiness before their career. ‘Tip: when interviewing a militant vegan don’t leave a ham sandwich in view.’ Radio 2’s Jeremy Vine tweets after an on-air clash with activist Joey Armstrong. ‘Acting is important for movies but it’s ten times more important when you’ve been out with a woman until 5.30am and then you have to go back to your wife.’ Musician Quincy Jones recalls the advice given to him by Marlon Brando. ‘There are worse ways to spend a Sunday – I could be watching Countryfile.’ Lesley Manville celebrates after winning a best supporting actress award for her role in Phantom Threads.

‘I actually put weight on because I was eating chocolate instead of drinking gin.’ Daytime TV presenter Lorraine Kelly bemoans the downside of Dry January.