QUOTES of the week

‘I think the comparison with 1936 is right. It’s an emetic prospect to think of Putin glorying in this sporting event.’ Boris Johnson likens Russia staging the World Cup this summer to Hitler’s Berlin Olympics.

‘If we were in high school I’d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.’ Former US Vice President Joe Biden threatens Donald Trump with violence over his treatment of women.

‘Can I not have a spot painting? Can I have a Banksy?’ Artist Damien Hirst recalls his son’s reaction after he offered him a choice of paintings.

‘It’s true that I never received my certificate from the Department of Lesbian Affairs’ Cynthia Nixon, who was dubbed an ‘unqualified lesbian’ by an opponent in the race to become New York governor.

‘I’m going to have to face those workers, look them in the whites of the eyes and explain why the Government thinks it’s a sensible decision to buy French passports.’ De La Rue boss Martin Sutherland, after losing the contract to produce the British passport.

‘They’re as disappointing as a downpour in high summer.’ Ex-BBC weatherman Bill Giles criticises the Corporation’s new forecasts.

‘There’s an aspect of the whole performance that is ballyhoo.’ Feminist Germaine Greer speaks out against the Me Too campaign.

‘This is not brill and I won’t carp on about it but I would feel out of plaice throwing fish.’ Jacob Rees-Mogg’s witty tweet as he declines to join a fishing rights protest.

‘Someone has taken a mango from a fridge. It is Fiona Bruce’s. There will be blood.’ BBC executive Mike Embley warns a thief to expect the newsreader’s wrath.