QUOTES of the week

‘Throw a stone in Kensington and you’ll hit an oligarch.’ Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson during an 18-minute phone call with a Russian hoaxer posing as the prime minister of Armenia. ‘It’s a poisonous, toxic atmosphere and I don’t want to be surrounded by people like that. The “lovey” and the kissing cheeks – I can’t stand it.’ Sir Anthony Hopkins pulls no punches in his latest description of Tinseltown. ‘I’m a Gloucester girl, so Cheltenham is like a foreign land to me’ Hilda Farmer, 79, explains why it took five days to remember where she had parked her ‘lost’ car in the town eight miles from home. ‘My problem, really, is I don’t remember I’m 70.’ Ozzy Osbourne. He is 69. ‘Let us hope women around the world with collagenfilled lips, Botox-ed brows and far too much make-up take notice of Meghan Markle’s appearance at her wedding. Less is more.’ Susan Sang of Hampshire extols the new Royal’s natural beauty in a letter to The Daily Telegraph. ‘They do Royal Weddings, we do schoolkids’ funerals.’ Front-page headline in the New York Daily News – after Harry wed Meghan while two young victims of the latest US school shooting were buried. ‘There are jobs available even for those with a poor work history like you. Get one.’ Christina and Mark Rotondo write to their 30-year-old son whom they want to evict from their home. ‘One might wonder what is so pernicious about poshness? What is so toxic about self-improvement? What used to be called bettering oneself is better than worsening oneself.’ Jonathan Meades, writer and critic, urges Britons to celebrate Received Pronunciation rather than decry it as snobby. ‘The wreck of a once-beautiful man.’ Comedian Robert Webb describes what he sees when he looks in the mirror.