QUOTES of the week
‘Best joke today: so Boris Johnson is joining the single market after all.’
Lord Adonis, arch-Remainer, tweets in the wake of Mr Johnson’s marriage split.
‘Dear Morgan…’
Richard Meddings, new boss of troubled TSB hardly ingratiates himself in his first letter to chairwoman of the Treasury Select Committee – Nicky Morgan.
‘They are incredibly close to you a lot of the time, although obviously not that close.’
Amber Rudd, ex-Home Secretary, agrees the TV depiction of the bond between a Home Secretary and her Bodyguard is accurate – apart from the sex.
‘If you want to date a younger man, don’t dismiss it just because it didn’t use to be the done thing. It is now!’
TV’s Carol Vorderman, 59, offers dating advice to over-50s women.
‘I’m not too good at communication.’
How Steve Jobs, iPhone inventor, apologised on his deathbed to daughter Lisa for subjecting her to a childhood of cruelty.
‘We are batting our eyelids and clenching our teeth at the same time, and that is very confusing.’
Actress Maureen Lipman criticises the MeToo movement’s mixed messages about flirting and empowerment.
‘I’m not looking forward to having my chest waxed. I’ll fight to the death if anyone tries it.’
Graeme Swann, ex-cricketer, is dreading a smooth start to Strictly Come Dancing.
‘More Johnny English than James Bond.’
Ben Wallace, Security Minister, is unimpressed by the skills of the Russian agents who allegedly planted novichock nerve poison in Salisbury.
‘In the words of the legendary Frank S, I’m afraid the time has come, my friends.’
Rachael Bland, BBC newsreader and cancer campaigner, posts her final tweet on Monday after being told she had just days to live. Rachael died on Wednesday.