£1,500 for a fruit logo? Madness

The new iPhone is fast, vast and VERY expensive

WE HAVE entered a lookingglass world in which a phone that starts at £749 can somehow be described as a ‘budget’ option.

But if you’re going to soften up an audience for a hammer blow like this, the ideal way to do it is to unveil a phone costing £1,449, after which almost anything else seems fairly reasonable.

That’s exactly what Apple did this week, ushering in a future where phones are uniformly vast and expensive – even the budget ones – and you’re going to have to fork out for expensive new wireless headphones on top of that.

You can buy a perfectly decent laptop for £400. This year’s iPhones cost twice or up to three or four times as much for the expensive XS models.

For Apple, it makes sense. Sales of its phones have flattened off, so the public must be persuaded to buy ever larger, ever shinier, ever pricier phones to keep company profits high.

I have no doubt that the sleek, allscreen design of the new XS and ‘budget’ XR handsets (all of which have had the Home button discreetly removed) will set the tone for flagship phones from the rest of the mobile industry. Other companies copy Apple so slavishly they even ‘borrow’ ugly Apple designs like the ‘notch’ in iPhone’s screen.

As a result, Apple’s decision to quietly ‘retire’ the smaller phones in its line-up (the 3.5in iPhone SE took a bow in this presentation) probably marks a final kiss of death for small phones altogether. Anyone with small hands is basically out of luck, and that includes quite a number of women.

From now on, we’re all going to carry vast, tablet-esque slabs where the front is almost entirely made up of screen. Oh, and we’re all going to be buying new, wireless headphones, as Apple has now killed off every iPhone model with a headphone socket. The future is wireless, whether we like it or not.

Headphone companies (including Apple itself, with its pricey wireless Beats and Earpods headphones) will be over the moon.

It’s also ironic that after years where Apple fans used to chortle at the vast size of Samsung handsets, that Apple’s flagship XS Max now actually has a bigger screen (6.5in) than Samsung’s Galaxy Note, although it feels smaller with no bezel around the screen.

It’s a desirable machine, and will no doubt be a hit with the no-holdsbarred early adopter brigade – although at 208g, it’s quite a weighty device, and will probably require two hands to operate.

For hardcore fans, the enormous price doesn’t seem to be too much of a problem, though, with some of the most expensive 512GB configurations having already sold out on Apple’s website.

For normal mortals, the cheaper LCD XR will, I’m sure, be the big seller – although buyers will have to wait another month, as the two pricier XS models come out first.

Technology-wise, it’s all a little familiar, though, with the biometric Face ID system and all-screen look unveiled last year – and spruced-up processors and cameras the only ‘new’ feature, as well as slightly improved waterproofing (woop! woop!), which means it will now withstand half an hour immersion in 6ft of water (or beer). Apple’s much-vaunted wireless charger seems to have been quietly forgotten.

Apple is a master at whipping up techno-lust for high-priced handsets, but in a world where Nokia’s big-screen 5.1 handset is only £189, and the Honor 9 Lite is £149, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to see what you’re paying hundreds of pounds for… barring a large fruit logo on the back.