QUOTES of the week

‘How about a series on killing vegans, one by one? Ways to trap them? Force-feed them meat?’ Waitrose Food magazine editor William Sitwell’s response to a writer’s suggestion for a feature on planted-based food – he later stepped down. ‘Politicians come and go but principles stay with us for ever.’ Sports Minister Tracey Crouch quits in protest at a delay in slashing the stake on fixed-odds betting terminals. ‘That wild girl stuff is drinkfuelled bravado. When I’m on my own I’m like a broken sparrow.’ Sheridan Smith describes her public breakdown. ‘Gone fishing.’ Arron Banks tweets after it is revealed he is being investigated over overseas donations to the Brexit campaign he bankrolled. ‘If he decides to skip the dance and go rowing on the lake, go – even if you are wearing your best evening gown.’ Dating tip published in a rediscovered 1958 American magazine. ‘Had my eye on some glitter glue sticks for quite some time… what a treat.’ Teacher’s tongue-in-cheek tweet after Philip Hammond announced money in the Budget for ‘little extras’ for schools. ‘I’m now the Nothing of Tesla. Seems fine so far.’ Elon Musk, after deleting his titles of chairman and product architect at the electric car firm he founded. ‘I have suggested Daniel Craig or the bloke in Poldark but Christopher Biggins is the current hot favourite.’ Sir Tim Rice on who will play him in a new stage show. ‘I can still be found running upstairs with a saucepan of spuds to stick under my duvet.’ Newsreader Kate Silverton’s bizarre advice for keeping the Christmas lunch warm.