QUOTES of the week

‘I haven’t suddenly become more attractive overnight – just my wallet has!’ Ade Goodchild is inundated with Facebook ‘friend’ requests after his £71million lottery win. ‘If the Tories don’t make Brexit happen soon, we’ll live in a barren land ruled by Jeremy Corbyn – with all of us in a gulag.’ Treasury Chief Secretary Liz Truss issues a stark warning to Cabinet colleagues as Britain’s exit from the EU is delayed. ‘As soon as I open the door, he stands in the middle, unsure about whether he wants to go out. When I put him out, he gives me an evil look.’ French minister Nathalie Loiseau jokingly reveals why she has named her cat Brexit. ‘My bust isn’t gravitydefying. I have to hoick them up with a bra like everyone else.’ Carol Vorderman who insists that her figure is partly down to HRT. ‘Speak the names of those who were lost rather than the name of the man who took them. He may have sought notoriety but we will give him nothing, not even his name.’ New Zealand prime minister Jacinda Ardern declares that she will never speak the name of the terrorist who killed 50 people in gun attacks at two mosques. ‘I was in the middle of my busy life. I had no time for brain surgery.’ Game Of Thrones star Emilia Clarke recalls her reaction when told she was suffering from a life-threatening aneurysm. ‘Paxman is dead, long live Maitlis.’ Twitter user after Emily Maitlis was announced as Newsnight’s new lead presenter. ‘Large, skinny, wet latte with an extra shot of coffee, with vanilla, hazelnut and caramel syrup, heated to 120F.’ Costa staff with one of the more bizarre customer requests.