QUOTES of the week
‘Nothing in the history of disappointment compares with our seven-year-old realising she’s the daughter of key workers.’
NHS doctor Mike Hunter
after schools were closed indefinitely in the coronavirus crisis – except for the children of vital staff.
‘Local pub packed. Not a brain cell in there.’
Twitter user Geoffrey Best
as youngsters ignored the plea to avoid large crowds and before the Government ordered their close.
‘With Or Without Flu.’
Twitter suggestion
for the title of a ballad U2’s Bono has written for the coronavirus crisis.
‘Like many writers I have a warm-up ritual. I make a fresh pot of coffee, open a window and attempt to read the entire internet.’
Comedian Simon Evans’s
advice for those who don’t normally work from home.
‘I explained that once upon a time we used to write with ink and then pressed absorbent paper on it to stop in smudging. It was if I was explaining Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle to my dog Derek.’
Broadcaster Jeremy Paxman
complains about his failure to buy blotting paper these days.
‘We resigned basically because it was not a kind show. They were pointing cameras in the bakers’ faces and making them cry, saying, “Tell us about your dead gran.”’
Sue Perkins
reveals how she and co-star Mel Giedroyc threatened to quit on their first day of filming the Great British Bake Off.
‘I bloody love sleep. If I could have 72 hours a night I would.’
Actress Imelda Staunton
prefers natural beauty methods over Botox.