TESTIMONIES TO CHILL EVERY PARENT
STUDENTS past and present have given harrowing accounts of rape, sexual abuse, violence and inappropriate behaviour at St Andrews University. Under cover of anonymity, the women revealed the appalling ordeals they suffered on a whistleblower website called St Andrews Survivors. Since the forum was opened at the beginning of this month, more than 100 women have come forward to share their terrifying experiences.
Here are some of their stories, in their own words...
I THOUGHT HE WAS A PAL
ONE student revealed that she was raped last semester after a boozy night out with a man she considered to be her friend.
She said: ‘I was so drunk and I’ve beaten myself up since as I’ve felt like it was my fault, but we didn’t have sex because I fell asleep.
‘The next morning I woke up and he... was on top of me.
‘I was absolutely frozen and could barely speak. I was so completely shocked at the situation I was in and just couldn’t manage to speak.
‘He got up and left and it has genuinely haunted me ever since and I’ve spent so long blaming myself.’
PREYED ON BY FRAT BOY
ANOTHER female student encountered a similar situation after meeting up with a frat boy at the union.
She wrote: ‘I had a meltdown outside the union and he comforted me. I explained that I had been sexually assaulted on another night out. He offered to take me to his for some water since he lived nearby and I didn’t.
‘I was very drunk and so he put me to bed and was going to sleep on the floor. I woke up some time later and he was in the bed with me, touching me. I can’t believe anyone could do this.’
I WAS HIS ‘CONQUEST’
A GIRL told how she was sexually assaulted at the annual Raisin Weekend, during her first term at the university.
It is so called because first-years traditionally thanked the older students who had become their mentors, or academic ‘Mum and Dad’, by giving them raisins.
The girl said: ‘I spent the morning at my Mum’s and went to my Dad’s party in the afternoon, as was the tradition.
‘The perpetrator was at the party – I knew him a tiny bit but mainly through our friendship group. We were all drinking and he kept bringing me drinks until I was completely drunk and almost passed out. He took me to the bedroom and sexually assaulted me.
‘I was crying but scared and drunk that I couldn’t leave. I had to sleep in a bed next to him until the morning.
‘He bragged about me “being a conquest” and only when a mutual friend told him that I knew I’d been assaulted and was seeking counselling did he then write me a four-page letter apologising.
‘The damage was already done. I later found out he assaulted two of my friends a year previously.’
RAPIST TOLD ME OFF
ONE woman told how she had suffered mental health issues.
She said: ‘On a night out my ex asked me to go for a walk, when he proceeded to tell me that I was out of control partying so much.
‘We went back to my house to talk, at that point I was still very drunk/high and extremely emotional. I broke down in floods of tear, he pulled me to the bed and undressed me as I cried.
‘I told him no, I didn’t want to have sex with him because I was so upset and not sober, but he just shushed me and started. I cried the whole time.’
BROWBEATEN INTO SEX
A STUDENT revealed how she had previously kept details of her being raped to only a small group of close friends – until now.
She met her attacker after being introduced through a mutual friend. Her polite and friendly signals were misinterpreted.
She said: ‘I was feeling extremely sleepy and much too drunk and he said that he would get me home since I was struggling quite a bit.
‘He ended up taking me to his place, where I was too tired and drunk to even complain and I literally passed out on his bed. He woke me up not much later trying to get me to hook up with him.
‘Even though I kept saying that I was too tired, that I was too drunk, that I wasn’t in the mood and didn’t want to, he kept forcing himself on me until I eventually stopped arguing against it.
‘I woke up the next morning fully naked in bed with a stranger and couldn’t remember what happened or even where I was until pieces of the night started flooding back to me. I have only told the closest people in my life.
‘I have tried so hard to repress this memory and all the residual trauma and pain it’s caused me.
‘But I am done being silent about my story and my feelings – they are valid and they do not only deserve, but they NEED to be heard.’
WHO SPIKED DRINKS?
A FORMER student told how her whole university experience has been ruined after being raped on a night out while at St Andrews.
She revealed that her drinks had been spiked after she had gone out completely sober with a male friend to the union.
The woman said: ‘I completely blanked out with no memory until waking up in his room the next morning.
‘It turns out someone was drugging drinks in the union.
‘I asked if he used a condom – he did not. I felt so violated and humiliated.
‘It took me years to acknowledge that this was rape because he was a friend I really liked and I accepted his story that I initiated it and wanted it.
‘I believed that for a long time and felt uncontrollable guilt that ruined my self-esteem.
‘I still think about it daily and feel like my university experience was stolen.’