MOUSE, LION, MONKEY OR DINOSAUR... WHAT’S YOUR STYLE OF COMMUNICATION?

OUR research has helped establish that there are four fundamental styles of communication. Each can be represented by an animal: T-Rex, Mouse, Lion and Monkey. While your natural communication style might be just one type, you can learn to master all of these animal styles and use them as needed in interactions with others.

T-REX: When you need to manage confrontation

At best, the T-Rex is assertive, frank and forthright, not punitive or sarcastic. What this personality type says can appear blunt but it is often honest and never personal or purposefully hurtful. Their attitude is: ‘Let me be clear. This is the bottom line.’

MOUSE: When you need to capitulate

To master letting others take control, you must avoid appearing weak. Instead, learn how to sit back, listen and take advice with patience and good grace. It’s about humility and patience. A Mouse attitude is: ‘I’m listening and observing. I’ll chip in when I’m ready.’

LION: When you need to establish control

The Lion considers themselves a leader, and makes clear decisions. But he/she needs to lead by inspiring confidence, otherwise they can appear too controlling, dogmatic or pedantic. Their attitude is: ‘Listen to me – I know what to do.’

MONKEY: When building co-operation is the priority

The Monkey is affectionate and tries to get others to co-operate through encouragement. But their style has to be reined in or it can appear to be overly intimate. Their attitude is: ‘We’re a team – together we can do this. I’m here for you.’ THE quick way to diagnose any interaction – during nearly all of which we adopt one of the four styles – is to ask two simple questions: 1. Does this person want me to be psychologically higher

(Lion) or lower (Mouse) than them in this situation?

2. Do they want a psychological scrap with me (T-Rex) or a hug (Monkey)?

This should give you an idea of the ‘power’ dynamic the other person is trying to create and you can then adapt your own approach.

Different scenarios demand different styles of communication.

For example, you might be the Lion while cooking Christmas dinner and you’ve delegated tasks to other members of the family:

‘Chop the sprouts, baste the turkey, slice the carrots, set the table please.’ You want everyone to carry out their assigned jobs as part of the team, but you are in charge.

Conversely, submissive

Mouse behaviour encourages dominant Lion behaviour.

For example, have you tried to get a teenager to tell you about their day? You may start warm and conversational (friendly Monkey) and end asking tough questions

(bossy Lion). Avoidant (quiet Mouse) behaviour brings out the demanding Lion in us as we insist on a more detailed response.

However, T-Rex-style communication can often prompt aggression back. When someone shouts or swears during an argument, it opens the gate for the other person to respond in the same way. How often have you found a discussion turning into an argument as both people try to top the other and things start to become personal? Similarly, Monkey behaviour begets Monkey behaviour. Being co-operative, warm and friendly instinctively generates the same behaviour back. A warm smile is hard not to return. Have you ever found it impossible to say ‘no’ to someone who was warm and friendly towards you? You may have been resistant at first but you cannot help becoming friendlier in return and cooperating with them. Just being aware of these different styles of communication can give an instant insight into how to approach a situation and what you should bear in mind when reacting to it.