QUOTES of the week

‘Yes! Yes! Yes!’

Immunologist Sir John Bell’s answer when questioned about whether life could be normal by spring after news about the Covid vaccine. ‘How many of our important male writers are depicted naked in their statues? You never see Charles Dickens with his b***s out.’

Dr Laura Wood, on the controversial statue of the pioneering philosopher Mary Wollstonecraft unveiled in North London, featuring a nude female. ‘I felt like Harvey Weinstein was sitting on my chest.’

Hugh Grant reveals he and wife Anna Eberstein had coronavirus in February. ‘I’m wearing my slippers. It’s the cha-chacha, the balls of my feet are so sore!’ Ranvir Singh reveals what the viewers can’t see as she presents Good Morning Britain after her session on Strictly.

‘Fireworks lit up the night sky over London, England, after Joe Biden was characterised to be the apparent winner of the presidential election.’

ABC News tweet after which it was pointed out that they were actually celebrating Guy Fawkes night. ‘Our Glyndebourne or Royal Ballet or Royal Opera House or Royal Shakespeare Company will be Blackburn Rovers, Accrington Stanley, Barrow, Carlisle or Sunderland’

Jake Berry MP upsets North of England culture vultures by suggesting football matters more to folk there than opera and ballet

‘Margrit Ferrier, Super Spreader.’

Leading entry in a contest to name Lanarkshire council’s new gritter after SNP MP Margaret Ferrier travelled to London with coronavirus. ‘It appears Donald Trump’s hair dye has conceded.’

Ahmed Baba, Twitter user, as the President appears with grey hair at his first official appearance since his disputed US election loss.