To see Marius die at 36 puts everything in perspective. It’s a lesson to us all that we should appreciate life
McGREGOR HIT BY LOSS OF ZALIUKAS BUT AIMS TO ASSIST OTHERS IN TIME OF NEED
DARREN McGREGOR is no stranger to grief. The death of his dad Ian early in his career was a trauma he learned to channel into something positive and recently he has shared some of that energy with Hibs team-mate Kevin Nisbet as he deals with the loss of his own father. Yet while McGregor’s sense of perspective is finely tuned, the 35-year-old has found it tough to process news of the death of his former Rangers team-mate Marius Zaliukas.
The pair teamed up at Ibrox under Ally McCoist in 2014, charged with supplying the defensive nous that would help Rangers gain promotion from the Championship.
It would transpire that by that time Zaliukas was already battling terminal illness. Last week, a heartfelt interview with fellow Lithuanian Saulius Mikoliunas revealed that the first signs of Zaliukas’s motor neurone disease emerged when he was still a Hearts player.
As the condition developed, the Gorgie side’s 2012 Scottish Cup-winning captain would continue to play for his country and make moves to Leeds United and then Rangers. He quietly retired in 2017 after a spell at Zalgiris of Vilnius. Last Tuesday would have been his 37th birthday.
‘Big Zal and I spent a year together and, of all the players at Rangers, he was one of the closest to me,’ says McGregor. ‘It was such a shame to hear the news.
‘I’d heard whisperings that he had motor neurone disease but I never did manage to get that clarified. Then I heard the news of his passing and I was so shocked. To die at the age of 36 — a year older than me — can’t help but put things in perspective. ‘I feel for his family, his wife and child. I read that his symptoms started to show at Hearts, which was a massive shock to me. I thought it was only uncovered at Rangers.
‘I always remember he had something wrong with his right hand. He was incapable of lifting things and he had a bit of muscle wastage in between his thumb and forefinger.
‘So he was obviously dealing with that at the time and I never knew, despite us being very close. It was clearly something very personal to him.’
Despite dealing with a terminal condition, Zaliukas continued to play the same role he became renowned for at Tynecastle. Although shy of conducting any media duties, behind the scenes he was a slightly eccentric and an occasionally juvenile practical joker.
‘We used to play a two-touch game and if you lost the ball you’d get your ear flicked,’ recalls McGregor. ‘So I was getting my ear flicked by Zal about 15 times a day! We got on so well, he had a brilliant sense of humour.
‘He was just starting a new chapter and lost his life to such a debilitating disease. It’s a lesson that we should all appreciate life, what you have and try to be happy on a day-to-day basis.’
McGregor did not need the passing of Zaliukas to teach him this ethos.
Just 25 when his own parent succumbed to lung cancer in 2011, the then St Mirren defender drew on his father’s memory as he continued a journey that had seen him enter the professional game late.
A part-time spell at Cowdenbeath led to his transfer to Paisley and at Rangers he was perhaps the only player who performed with distinction in an unsuccessful season that saw Hearts run away with the second tier title.
Despite sweeping the boards of the club’s internal player-of-the-year awards that summer, his contract was terminated by mutual consent as new manager Mark Warburton arrived with his own ethos.
McGregor ended up having the last laugh. His boyhood favourites picked him up on a free and he ended the season as a member of the Leith club’s historic Scottish Cupwinning team, secured by David Gray’s last-minute header past Wes Foderingham.
Like Gray, McGregor’s latest contract with the Easter Road club was a long-term deal designed to broaden his duties beyond those of a normal squad member.
Even without this new portfolio, he would still have taken the time to put an arm round team-mate Nisbet as he dealt with his own personal tragedy last month.
Nisbet, too, suffered the loss of his father Thomas to liver cancer last month, just days before he lined up for Hibs in the Scottish Cup semi-final against Hearts.
‘I felt I could speak with Kevin quite openly because I suffered something similar,’ says McGregor. ‘I was 24 when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer so I can see a lot of parallels.
‘He’s 23 and I know how he must be feeling. Sometimes, as young men, we do maybe mask our feelings but he sees Hibs as his sanctuary, somewhere he can come and forget about his troubles.
‘So, I just said to him: “Look, I don’t want to make a big song and dance about it but I know what you are feeling now and how you will be feeling in the months to come
‘WE GOT ON SO WELL AND HE HAD A BRILLIANT SENSE OF HUMOUR. OF ALL THE PLAYERS AT RANGERS, HE WAS ONE OF THE CLOSEST TO ME’ ‘I FELT I COULD SPEAK TO KEVIN ABOUT HIS SITUATION BECAUSE I SUFFERED SOMETHING SIMILAR WHEN I WAS YOUNG. I LET HIM KNOW I WAS THERE FOR HIM’
because it all comes in different stages, so I will be here for you if you need to talk”.
‘I didn’t want to put any pressure on, I just wanted to let him know that I have suffered something similar and if he needs me I will be here.’
It’s been hard to divine any positives from the scourge of coronavirus but a heightened awareness of mental-health issues, particularly among young men, may yield some good in the future.
McGregor admits he did not deal with his own grief as well as he might. Without being overbearing, he wanted Nisbet to know he had someone to confide in.
‘I think the reason I have reached out is because I never really had that,’ admits McGregor. ‘I was always quite a guarded person, even growing up.
‘I tended to keep my emotions quite close to me and maybe, with hindsight, not dealing with it did hurt me.
‘I would never force Nizzy to talk, I just wanted to let him know that I was here for him.’
McGregor smiles broadly when he reflects on how his father, never a football fan, still managed to take intense pride in his son’s chosen career path.
‘Funnily enough, he actually hated football,’ laughs McGregor, who is in line to make a rare start for the club in today’s Betfred Cup match against Dundee. ‘I had just signed for St Mirren and he had a bit of back pain. Like a lot of men of that generation, he put off going to the doctor to get it seen to.
‘By the time he went in, the tumour that had been in his lung had branched off into his back. By then it was too late. My dad was a lot older than a lot of dads and I think I always knew I wouldn’t have him later in life, but I never expected that to happen when I was so young. A lot of people go through that but I’m sure that with Nizzy’s character traits and the support he has around him, he will get through this and use it as a motivation.’
If the stigma around mental health has not been fully removed, McGregor believes football’s dressing-room culture has improved.
‘It’s just about being a human being and recognising when someone is going through a tough time,’ he continues. ‘Let them know you are there.
‘As you get older, you realise there’s a duty of care for some of these younger guys. You remember what it was like to be that age, not being sure where to turn. As long as Nizzy knows the support is there, there’s no need to shove it down anyone’s throat.
‘I am pretty sure that every other guy in that dressing room will be the exact same and credit to Nizzy for the way he has acted throughout it all and how mature he has been. It has been really remarkable.’
Signed from Dunfermline in the summer, Nisbet has stepped up to Premiership level impressively.
So naturally does his skill-set complement that of Christian Doidge that manager Jack Ross has spent most of the season operating with a strike partnership, a ploy that had seemed obsolete in recent seasons.
A strike rate of eight goals in 15 games has prompted talk of an international call-up and even in thumping a crucial penalty kick against the crossbar in the semi-final he displayed oodles of courage that bodes well for his prospects.
‘Football is Kevin’s release,’ adds McGregor. ‘He comes in here and works his socks off every day and he has been rewarded with the amount of goals he has scored.
‘Obviously, there is talk of a potential call-up for Scotland but the main thing is to keep coming in and training well.
‘His emotions might bubble up some time in the near future or they might not. But as long as he knows there are guys in the changing room looking out for him — me, the manager, the backroom team — we are all here to support him.
‘It spoke volumes for him that he stepped up to take the penalty — a lot of players would have chosen not to even play that game. But it was one of his dad’s wishes that he went on to play.
‘Football can be such a cruel game — if the penalty is six inches lower then it’s a totally different day.
‘I have said this could be the making of him. When you suffer trauma or experience really difficult times in your life, you can either use it to motivate you to go on and be successful or you can let it destroy you.
‘Knowing the character of Nizzy, I’m sure he will use his dad as an inspiration and his passing as motivation to go on and do well in the rest of his career.’