Everything changed, forever
This week marks the 25th anniversary of Dunblane. Today, one father breaks his silence to recount, minute by heartbreaking minute, how he learned his son was among the dead on Scotland’s darkest day
IT was a morning bulletin on the radio that alerted Colin McKinnon to the appalling news – a gunman had opened fire at Dunblane Primary School. As a father whose two sons were pupils there, the headline seemed unreal at first.
But as he dropped everything to race to the scene, his mind churned with questions... What was happening? Were his boys OK?
What he found was a vision of horror almost impossible for any parent to comprehend.
As the 25th anniversary approaches of the massacre in which 16 children and their teacher were killed, Mr McKinnon has spoken publicly for the first time about his experiences.
He described his agonising wait to find out what was happening, the heartbreaking moment he learned the awful truth, and the unimaginable trauma of having to identify the body of his six-yearold son, Brett, lying in a mortuary with his face scarred by bullets.
He has spoken, too, of a battle with depression, post-traumatic stress and of a suicide attempt.
ON THE RADIO, THE DEAD KEPT GOING UP
Mr McKinnon recalled: ‘I heard on the radio that there had been a shooting at Dunblane Primary School. I said, “Wait a minute, my kids are at Dunblane, this can’t be real”.
‘I jumped in the car and drove like a maniac up the motorway and on the radio the number of casualties kept increasing every time it came on.’
Frantically worrying if his children had been caught up in the shocking events, he raced to the normally peaceful town, near Stirling. But as he arrived and saw the commotion in front of him, his worst fears were realised.
He said: ‘I got to Dunblane and someone shouted to me, “Colin, it’s Brett’s class”.’ Parents of affected pupils were ushered aside where they waited to hear if their child was alive or dead. Mr McKinnon said he was told, after ‘what seemed like an eternity’, that Brett had been shot and killed.
TO IDENTIFY YOUR WEE BOY, HOLES IN HIS FACE
He recalled: ‘I remember going up the stairs and knew we were going to hear one way or the other; I had my fingers crossed behind my back as we got to the room.
‘He sat me down and I can remember his words clear as day.
‘He said, “Colin, you know there’s been an incident at the school today, there’s been a number of kids killed”.
‘Then he said, “I’m afraid Brett was one of them”. As soon as he said “I’m afraid”, that was it, everything changed − for ever.
‘To go to the mortuary and identify your wee boy, bullet holes in his face, that’s going to change people for ever. Something like that never leaves you.’
He added: ‘I didn’t want to open up and admit I was struggling and eventually I just had a complete breakdown. I tried to take my life. Luckily, it wasn’t successful.
‘I’m not sure I believe in spirits but I like to believe at some point, some day, we will be together again.’
A quarter of a century has now passed since Wednesday, March 13, 1996. But as Dunblane and the wider world prepares to mark the 25th anniversary of the massacre that robbed a small town of so many young, innocent children and their heroic teacher, the events of that day still remain profoundly shocking.
Shortly after 9.30am, Thomas Hamilton burst through the gym doors at Dunblane Primary School, where 28 pupils and three adults were preparing for a PE class,
‘We owe it to them never to forget’: Victoria Clydesdale,5, Sophie North, 5, Ross Irvine, 5, Melissa Currie, 5, Mhairi MacBeath, 5, Megan Turner, 5, Kevin Hassell, 5, John Petrie, 5, Joanna Ross, 5, Hannah Scott, 5, Emma Crozier, 5 Emily Morton, 5, David Kerr, 5, Charlotte Dunn, 5, Brett McKinnon, 6, Abigail McLennan, 5, and Gwen Mayor, 45
and fired off 105 shots in quick succession from two handguns.
In the space of three minutes, Hamilton, a loner who bore a grudge against society, shot dead 15 Primary One pupils and their teacher, Gwen Mayor, before turning the gun on himself.
Another pupil, injured in the attack, died en route to the hospital. To date, it remains the deadliest firearms atrocity in Britain.
A new TV documentary will be broadcast on Thursday, fronted by TV presenter and journalist Lorraine Kelly, who reported on the tragedy at the time.
Reliving painful memories and the devastating impact that the events had on the tranquil Scottish town, the hour-long documentary pays homage to the lives lost.
Among those paying tribute is Debbie Mayor, whose mother Gwen was the only adult killed in the attack.
The 45-year-old teacher died trying to save her pupils from the crazed gunman, who shot her six times. Her daughter, who was a
19-year-old university student at the time, later learned of her mother’s heroism, something that has brought her comfort.
Speaking to Ms Kelly about her mother’s final moments, Ms Mayor said: ‘She had evidence of being punched, one of the children said she struggled with him and her defence wounds showed she struggled with him. She was standing in front of a man who had weapons and enough ammunition to kill a whole school.
‘She basically put up a fight and I that says everything about her. I do believe she went with the children for a reason and that’s the only way I can get comfort from it.’
The paramedic who was first to arrive at the school that day described the devastation before him when he entered the gym hall and saw children strewn across the floor.
As he began checking who was dead and who could still be saved, he saw Mrs Mayor’s body with two children by her side.
In a fitting tribute to the brave teacher, he likened her to ‘a mother hen trying to protect her chicks’.
The sickening scale of the massacre shook everyone who was involved. Experienced emergency services workers were distraught, and even police officers and paramedics who were hardened to traumatic situations struggled to take in the full horror.
Journalists who routinely covered devastating events also had difficulty reporting on the murder of 16 innocent children.
Among them was Ms Kelly, who, although she is now recognised as the familiar face of daytime TV, was at the time working as a news reporter for GMTV.
Then mother to a two-year-old daughter, she left her home in Berkshire and travelled back to her native Scotland.
With co-presenter Eamonn Holmes she reported from Dunblane as the town tried to comprehend what had happened.
THE TOWN I KNEW WAS PEACEFUL, BEAUTIFUL
Ms Kelly, now 61 with an OBE and CBE, says in the documentary: ‘I remember I heard a newsflash on the radio, they said there had been a shooting at a school in Dunblane. I honestly couldn’t believe what I was hearing. ‘I couldn’t believe that this had happened in a place that I really knew and was such a peaceful, quiet, beautiful, beautiful part of the world.’
Even though she had covered the Lockerbie bombing in 1988, Ms Kelly said nothing could prepare her and her team for the magnitude of Dunblane − or how life would change for everyone.
Revisiting the town for the documentary, she recalled: ‘We all knew what we were coming to but nothing really prepares you for the reality of when you’re actually there. It was very, very busy with lots of police, and parents trying to find out what was going on.
‘The grief in the air was just horrendous and there was just a lot of people who were struggling it take it all in.’
MORE NAMES HE READ, THE QUIETER IT GOT
Ms Kelly described the press conference that took place in the aftermath – the likes of which she had never seen before in her years of reporting – and recalled a police officer slowly reading out the names of the murdered children.
She said: ‘I thought, when is he going to stop? It just seemed to go on and on and on. And the more names he read out, the quieter it got. I had never experienced a press conference like this at all, even when I covered disasters like Lockerbie.
‘This was totally different, even the most hardened newspaper reporter was ashen-faced.’
Following her coverage on GMTV, she was contacted by Pam Ross, mother of Joanna – one of the murdered children.
The pair went on to become friends and the journalist was invited to Joanna’s funeral by the family, which she described as an honour.
Ms Kelly remembers Joanna’s dad Kenny saying: ‘Look what that monster has done, just look what he’s done to my beautiful girl.’
Speaking to Joanna’s mother during the documentary, she praised her dignity at her daughter’s funeral and said Mrs Ross was ‘extraordinary’.
Mrs Ross said they were in shock, adding: ‘We were just numb, really,
for a long time’. Lynne McMaster lost her five-year-old daughter Victoria Clydesdale that day and she has been haunted by guilt ever since. After spotting a rash on the little girl’s body, she wanted to keep her at home but because of Victoria’s love of gym class she allowed her to go to school.
WHO’D SURVIVED? I SCREAMED HER NAME
Only hours later, Ms McMaster raced to the school after hearing about the incident, where she was given the devastating news that her daughter was a victim.
Recalling the moment that she knew her daughter was involved, she said: ‘Getting told the teacher’s name, that was the worst part because I knew that was Victoria’s class. I didn’t know who had survived and who hadn’t and I just screamed her name out.’
Her fears were soon confirmed − Victoria was one of the children shot dead in the gym hall.
In the wake of the atrocity, demands were made to reform gun laws to try and prevent anything similar ever happening again.
Parents joined forces to campaign for change, taking their petition with more than 705,000 signatures to parliament only months after the terrible attack.
Although there was strong opposition from the gun lobby, the parents behind the Snowdrop campaign – named after the flower in bloom at that time – battled on until laws were eventually changed.
Among the most vocal campaigners was Dr Mick North, who became a spokesman for the Dunblane parents after his daughter, Sophie, was among the fatalities. Looking back at the campaign that the grieving families threw themselves into, Dr North said that it was a taxing, but necessary task.
He said: ‘It was exhausting, emotionally draining and not something that I particularly enjoyed doing.
‘I had never had experience of doing things with the media before but when you’ve decided to become part of a campaign you’ve got to go out there and do something. I found it very nerve-racking.’
The retired university lecturer said it was important to push for a complete ban on handguns for everyone who had to suffer because of what happened in Dunblane.
The group even enlisted the help of Hollywood star Sir Sean Connery, who featured in an antigun advert.
Eventually, more than a year and a half after the massacre, the parents finally won their battle when a total ban on all private handguns became law in the UK.
Ms Kelly said: ‘The Snowdrop campaign remains one of the most successful grassroots movements of all time.’
She cherishes a Snowdrop badge which was given to her by the families. Years later, siblings of some of the Dunblane victims continue to fight for further crackdowns to prevent a repeat of the senseless loss of innocent lives.
U.S. FAMILIES ARE STILL GOING THROUGH THIS
In 2018, 22 years after the massacre, Ali Ross − who lost her sister Joanna − and Jack Crozier, who lost sister Emma, appeared on Lorraine Kelly’s show to send a message of hope to families in America, where guns are still legal, that change can happen.
Three years on, Mr Crozier spoke with the journalist again about his intention to carry on his parents’ fight, as part of a second generation of campaigning against guns.
He said: ‘It’s not over for people in America. They’ve got families going through the exact same fight my family had to go through.’
While he has no memories of his sister, he said that for the rest of his life the cause of gun control will be something he will always be passionate about.
Asked why it is important that people should know what happened on that day 25 years ago, Mr Crozier said: ‘People of my generation don’t really appreciate that the reason we live in the safety that we do is because of the work that the families of Dunblane did.
‘If people are not reminded of what happened, then it’s so easy to go backwards.’
While better gun control is part of the legacy of Dunblane, Ms Kelly is clear that the events of March 13, 1996, should never be forgotten by the world.
As the documentary draws to a close, she says: ‘It has been hard to relive the horror of what happened but we owe it to everybody who lost so much that day. We owe it to them to never, ever forget.’
• Return to Dunblane with Lorraine Kelly will be aired on ITV at 9pm on Thursday, March 11.