QUOTES of the week

‘Bulls don’t have monthly cycles, BBC!

It’s like an infant school biology class.’ Former Olympic swimmer Sharron Davies hits back after Countryfile’s Adam Henson compared the menstruation periods of cows to ‘people’, not women.

‘Never in the history of human conflict has so much karma come from a korma.’

Tory MP Graham Stuart mocks Sir Keir Starmer over his curry and beer in Durham.

‘Right, Mummy and Daddy are doing smoochers. Nobody bother us for an hour.’ Caprice Bourret’s edict to her young sons when she and her husband Ty want to have sex.

‘As a young kid, I didn’t realise my parents had mental health issues. I just thought my dad was a drug addict and my mum loved cleaning.’

Fitness expert Joe Wicks hopes to inspire people to

talk about their problems.

‘Some people want their ashes scattered in different places; I don’t, because I think I’d be lonely. I’m the kind of person who wouldn’t mind staying in the top drawer in the kitchen for a while.’

Podcaster Deborah James, who is now receiving hospiceat-home care after a five-year

battle against bowel cancer.

‘I’m on the ground. How do I turn this thing off?’ Darren Harrison, who landed a small plane in Florida despite having no experience, after the pilot fell unconscious. ‘I’ll talk about it at some point on Netflix. Your tickets were expensive, but not

THAT expensive.’ Comedian Chris Rock teases the audience at the Royal Albert Hall about his Oscars slap from Will Smith.

‘Hereditary prince in a ridiculous Ruritanian uniform on a golden throne in Parliament’s unelected chamber reading out a Government’s annual plan. Welcome to modern Britain.’

Political pundit Kevin Maguire has a controversial take as Prince Charles reads the Queen’s Speech in her absence.