THE OLD GUARD
(15)
CHARLIZE THERON’S latest action thriller is a wannabe franchise starter, but instead of being the extravagant exercise in gleeful mayhem promised by the outlandish concept, it delivers a curiously flat experience in a painfully pedestrian manner.
With centuries-old immortal warriors battling their way across time, this could easily have been a storming feast of inventive comicbook violence, like 1986’s Highlander updated for the 21st century.
However, where that film featured a contest to the death for the ultimate prize, here they’re a sword-carrying band of do-gooding undercover mercenaries – a bit like TV’S The A-team, but without the knowing sense of escapist fun.
Wanting to anchor the story firmly in the real world, the script includes kidnapped African schoolgirls, Afghanistan action, and an exploitative pharmaceutical company.
But it takes itself far too seriously and is played with the earnest and weary tone of an existential drama, as characters struggle to cope with the pain of never-ending life.
Worse, the adequately staged action is formulaic and nowhere near
COME AS YOU ARE (15) Preview
★★★★★
ADAPTED by screenwriter Erik Linthorst from the 2011 Belgian film Hasta La Vista, Come As You Are is a warm-hearted comedy drama directed by Richard Wong, which embarks on a road trip with three men who are keen to take advantage of a very special establishment across the border in Montreal.
Scotty (Grant Rosenmeyer) is a paraplegic, who channels his resentment towards his protective mother Liz (Janeane Garofalo).
He attends a clinic for physical therapy and takes an immediate dislike to new arrival Matt (Hayden Szeto), a handsome former as thrilling as Theron’s blistering fights in 2017 thriller Atomic Blonde.
Here she’s the leader of the soldiers teaching the newly immortalised Kiki Layne how to survive as an outsider in a world which fears you. As for her team, Matthias Schoenaerts is even more morose than usual, while Marwan Kenzari and Luca Marinelli are sympathetic but forgettable. However, as the villain is tragically underpowered, they’ve little reason to raise their game.
The most interesting character is Chiwetel Ejiofor’s EX-CIA agent who commissions Theron’s team to stage a rescue.but terrific as the British actor can be, even he struggles with the misjudged tone, which is a criminal waste of talent as he’s easily capable of delivering a performance necessary to make the material really fly.
■ On Netflix
■ Review by Christopher Hunneysett athlete who requires a wheelchair.
This rivalry sparks an unlikely friendship when virgin Scotty learns about a Canadian brothel specialising in catering to clientele with disabilities.
The duo convince mild-mannered blind clinic worker Mo (Ravi Patel) to join the hush-hush expedition
KISSING GAME (Netflix)
ONE passionate embrace could be deadly in this contemporary Brazilian horror series.
In a close-knit cattle-ranching town, teenagers get deliriously high at a party and casually lock lips with friends and strangers.
Soon after, one of the girls develops an infection and rumours circulate that her contagion can be transmitted through saliva. Everyone at the hormone-fuelled gathering is at risk.
Students Chico (Michel Joelsas), Fran (Iza Moreira) and Samuca (Caio Horowicz) witness fear and mistrust sweep through their local community, turning friends against each other as potential carriers are exposed.
Six episodes, streaming from July 17.