DEAR FIONA

THE PROBLEM

“MY little girl is almost 15 months and is going through a separation anxiety phase, which is very draining for me as she only wants me. She shares our bed as she’s been a terrible sleeper since birth.

“I love her more than anything but do find myself wishing she would just sleep on her own, so I can get a bit of time with my husband of an evening.

“My husband has been working from home throughout lockdown but he’s struggling with that, so loses his temper with me over very little things, as he’s so frustrated and fed up. He thinks I’m on a permanent holiday – but being a stay-at-home mum is hard too, especially when there are no baby groups, swimming lessons or anything like that. “I love being a mum but I don’t know who I am any more, and no longer feel like ‘me’.”

FIONA SAYS…

“Finding a way of getting your toddler to sleep in her own bed isn’t easy – but picking her up and putting her in it as she falls asleep has got to be a start. You may still get disturbed nights for a while, but perhaps you can find ways of rewarding her if she does sleep in her own bed. “There are various other things you could try, such as leaving them with someone they know well (when possible) for a short time and building gradually to longer stints. You could also try practising short-term separations around the house – so when you want to go into another room very briefly, tell them where you’re going and tell them when you get back. That way they start to understand that your disappearance is only temporary.

“Your husband could be doing more to help with this. Spending time with his daughter could help to reduce his stress levels too.”