GO YOUR OWN WAY

HOLIDAYS. A GREAT IDEA, BUT THE REALITY IS OFTEN MORE STRESSFUL THAN RESTFUL. IF YOU WANT TO RECHARGE, THE BEST TRAVEL COMPANION COULD BE YOURSELF

“There’s something intrinsically human about exploring alone, setting out on your own”

Ionly recently discovered I like travelling alone. I wasn’t an intrepid lone backpacker and love the company of others, but when I found myself travelling alone to a retreat (I’d tried to encourage friends to join me but nobody had time), I discovered that being on my own for a weekend was exactly what I needed. From the minute I stepped out of the door with a small bag and a ticket for one, I felt slightly anxious and a bit guilty, but above all it felt good to be doing something just for me.

“There’s something intrinsically human about exploring alone, setting out on your own into the unknown,” says Lou Hamilton, life coach and author of

Brave New Girl. “It might be a walk across the fells in the Lake District or a yoga retreat in Thailand, but we find out more about ourselves and open our eyes to others, when we do it.” And the beauty of solo travel is you have the freedom to do whatever makes you happy.

FLYING SOLO

Travelling alone is a fast-growing trend. A survey by ABTA found that nearly one in six of us now travels by ourselves. Last year when Bradt Travel Guides invited submissions for a book on travelling alone, they were inundated with entries. The resulting anthology Roam Alone: Inspiring Tales by Reluctant Solo Travellers can’t fail to inspire even the most trepidatious.

It’s no coincidence that as we become more busy and socially connected through our online lives we feel an increased urge to seek out time alone. Michael Harris, author of Solitude agrees. “To be human is to be social, to be human in the age of screens is to be massively social,” he says. “Yet in the same way we’re engineering healthy diets in a world overflowing with sugars and fats, social media has made us socially obese. We’re gorged on connection but never properly nourished.”

Taking a step back from your life, both on- and off-line, can provide much-needed respite, a chance to help break patterns, nurture ideas and just get to know yourself a bit better. “The word ‘retreat’ is traditionally used to mean a beneficial withdrawal and many of us are in desperate need of some isolation,” says Michael.

If the number of ‘retreats’ now on offer is anything to go by, there is a very real demand for taking time out. Joining an organised group can be a gentle introduction to spending time alone and also a good way to meet new people. “Often, coming on a retreat is the beginning of a positive change,” says Tamsin Chubb, who runs yoga retreats in south west France ( littlefrenchretreat.com). “Guests that never normally travel alone come with a sense of achievement that they’ve overcome one of their fears. It’s lovely to watch, because I know that it’s been a big step for them, yet they’ve just opened a whole new world of possibilities.”

For many, it is fear that prevents them embarking on a solo journey, but overcoming this hurdle is all part of the experience. “The idea of going it alone for me at first was terrifying,” admits Lou. “But my training as a life coach had taught me that fear was an invitation to address an issue. I knew that I wanted to be able to do it and that was the trigger to break the back of the fear. Once you do that, you have tapped into your courageous self, the bit with unlimited potential.”

ALONE BUT NOT LONELY

Being alone can feel uncomfortable but if you give it a chance it can lead to something quite special. “While unsettling at first, solitude has become a place where I find comfort,” says Tamsin. “As your mind settles you become an observer and see yourself in a new light. It’s not always a comfortable experience, but that is often the place when the magic happens, and there’s a breakthrough.” Fresh ideas, a clearer perspective, new-found confidence can all be gained from spending time alone. “The cliché of the painter locked in a studio

or writer in his cabin is no accident,” says Michael.

If you choose to travel on your own rather than join a group, chances are you won’t feel alone for long. I’m always amazed by how much more I interact with people when I’m on my own. I’m moved by kind gestures from strangers, from offering help with directions or lifting my bag onto the luggage shelf to

translating a menu. I make more eye contact, smile and attempt to use the language more – social connections that make me feel more a part of my destination. And if I don’t want to interact with people, that’s fine too. Having a book or pair of headphones to hand can provide all the privacy I need (and you can’t do that so easily when travelling with somebody you know!).

If you’re exploring a new city, Michael advises switching off Google Maps and allowing yourself to wander a little with an open mind. “Allow yourself to get a bit lost and create your own mental map,” he says. “If you go out into the world with your senses open, you’ll encode a mental map that’s made with whatever types of information your brain likes to attend to. And your map will be different from that of other people.”

PARTAKING IN THE PRESENT

A more heightened awareness of your surroundings is something you’ll notice when travelling alone. To demonstrate this, Tamsin leads silent walks as part of her retreat experience. Walking in silence in single file, you can’t fail to observe your surroundings, wildlife and flowers, sounds and smells. When we walk and chat, we’re distracted and our curiosity and powers of observation are lost. “When you’re on your own for a while it can take time for your mind to settle, for all the thoughts whirring around in your head to stop, but when it does you somehow feel more in the present; the past and the future seem to fall away,” she says.

If you’re worried about what people might think about you choosing to go away by yourself, you can reassure family and friends that you’ll undoubtedly come back calmer, rejuvenated and more confident in your everyday life. As Michael says, “It’s not about running away from the world, but about rediscovering yourself in it.”

“When you’re on your own for a while... you somehow feel more in the present; the past and future seem to fall away”