Three wise women

IN THIS, THE SEASON OF GOOD WILL, WE REFLECT ON FAITH, HOPE AND CHARITY, MEETING AN INSPIRING TRIO WHO EMBODY THESE TIMELESS VALUES

“Christmas is about coming together in the depths of winter; it’s a chance to take stock of life’s big mysteries”

The celebrant

Humanist Isabel Russo is a believer in the power of humanism to bring people together, to instil a moral code and to address life’s big questions “Ceremony and ritual are so powerful. When done with authenticity – people saying words that chime with them and that represent who they are – they are incredibly valuable. They create a healthier society as a result.” Isabel Russo, head of ceremonies at Humanists UK, believes that everybody should have access to rituals that resonate – that they shouldn’t be the preserve of religion alone. And the vision appears to be catching on in the UK, as formal religious belief declines.

The British Social Attitudes survey found that 52% of respondents had no religion in 2017 compared with 41% in 2002. But we still want to mark major events in our lives: birth, death and marriage, for example. Humanism supplies all of these in modern Britain, believes Isabel. But, for the uninitiated, what exactly is it? “Humanism is a life philosophy that champions the idea that people can be good without God,” she explains. “It’s the belief that we create meaning by valuing the things that sustain us: things like family, love, work and creativity. Humanists believe that it’s our responsibility to find meaning in these things and to live the best life that we possibly can, because it’s the only life that we have.”

Drawn to storytelling, connecting with people and communicating deep emotions, Isabel was an actor for 20 years. In 2009, she started working as a humanist celebrant too, before taking up her current role in 2013. “It got to the point when I was much more excited when a funeral director called than when my agent called,” she laughs. Her eyes shine as she describes humanist ceremonies as “refreshing and joyful”. “There’s room for laughter at a funeral, for tears at a wedding. They are creative and honest, containing moments of profound resonance and meaning.”

Some humanist ceremonies are nearer the traditional end of the scale, while others are unique. Isabel once held a funeral ceremony for a woman who had had a passion for dancing. “We designed a country dance for all the people in the crematorium and they dosey-doed out of the building.”

On another occasion, a couple of circus performers were married, swinging from the rafters and taking their vows on a trapeze. But, she is keen to emphasise, “we always tie it back to what has heart and meaning for the people involved. I love to help people have really meaningful ceremonies that create extraordinary punctuation marks in their lives.” Another bride was incredibly shy. “She wrote her vows but was terrified to speak them,” says Isabel. “She was a musician so we came up with the idea that she would sing her vows on the ukulele. That could have been read as flippant and frivolous, but because all of the people in that room knew her and that’s where she was her comfortable

self, it was really moving. It was her – it was pure.”

She is certainly not anti-religious. “If you’re a Christian couple, then of course you get married, witnessed by God, because that speaks to you,” says Isabel. “But I am very passionate about people having the ceremony that reflects who they are and what they believe. I think everyone should be allowed to have equal access to those things.”

What about Christmas? Does she celebrate at this time of year? “There’ve always been pagan winter festivals that were about the return of the light,” she reminds. “It’s a ritual, a festive time, deeply embedded in our psyche. It’s about coming together in the depths of winter to re-establish your connection with all that nurtures and sustains you: family, friends, good food, wine and just celebrating what it is to be human.”

With that in mind, Christmas is a brilliant chance to take stock of life’s big mysteries, she suggests. “It’s so important to sit with what can be very difficult questions. ‘ What’s the meaning of my life? What’s my purpose?’ for example. They help us to make the best of the year ahead: the most of our talents, our abilities and of our capacity for living.” humanism.org.uk