Girls aloud

WOMEN’S CIRCLES OFFER A SAFE SPACE TO TALK, LISTEN AND EXPLORE MINDFUL ACTIVITIES

Sat in a quiet corner of my house on a Sunday evening, the children sleeping peacefully upstairs, my laptop is open and I’m taking part in an online women’s circle. With me are around 30 women, mostly from the UK but some from far away. Together we light candles – a virtual fire circle – and spend the next couple of hours journalling, meditating, and listening to one another. Despite the distance between us and the fact that all of them are strangers, there is a sense of connection and my rural home feels a little less isolated.

Women’s circles like this, both in person and virtual, are on the rise, popping up in cities and towns, living rooms, yoga studios, parks and forests near you. And whilst this sort of gathering may feel like something new, it is quite the opposite according to Anoushka Florence, a women’s circle facilitator, and author of The Women’s Circle: How to Gather with Meaning, Intention and Purpose (Hardie Grant).

ANCIENT WISDOM

The earliest circles took place in Africa in 800CE, explains Anoushka, and they span a wide range of cultures from Native American and Pagan to Jewish and Indigenous Australian. Anoushka, who has been holding circles in and around London for several years and now trains other women to facilitate their own, tells me those first circles were often called moon tents. “Women lived in small communities and would bleed in sequence with each other. It was believed that a woman was at her most powerful and prophetic during her time of menstruation and could channel visions and wisdom for her community.”

At some point the circles all but disappeared, particularly in Western societies. Anoushka cites the rise of organised religion as well as the witch trials as a possible explanation. In the sixties with the rise of feminism and the hippy movement, the circles started to re-emerge, but it’s in the past five years, she says, that the circles have really started to become popular again:

“It feels like the ground is fertile and safe for women. Now when women gather in circle, we are reclaiming this space that got taken from us.”

PERSONAL SPACE

Anoushka creates spaces that are aesthetically enticing, filled with candles, incense and treasures from the natural world. She might place a bowl of water, charged with crystals or a flower circle in the centre of the circle. During the gathering, women are encouraged to whisper wishes or intentions into offerings from nature, which can be brought home and placed on a bedside to serve as a reminder of the magic and intention of the circle. But not every circle is the same and she says that while ritual is her particular thing, the circles can include all sorts and the beauty is that each facilitator “brings their own gifts to the space.”

Last year, Elsa Evelyn started holding circles in and around Winchester. Her circles include journalling prompts, grounding meditation, creative activities and herbal teas she has foraged herself. She often starts by sharing a story of her own, making herself vulnerable to help women feel that they can share too. She says that many women who come to her circles are looking for friendship or feeling lonely and want to engage with people who share similar interests or are exploring their spirituality. “There’s a fear that you must be a spiritual person to come to this, but you absolutely don’t,” reassures Elsa. “You can be whoever you are and at whatever stage of life.”

A key similarity with all the circles I’ve examined is that they are for listening and not for solutions. Unlike a get-together with your friends – where you tend to respond with your own experiences and advice – it’s not an opportunity for back-and-forth conversation, explains Debbie Rayner, who organises circles in London and in Sussex: “I always say, be fully present as you listen. Most of us don’t get listened to.” She explains that this approach creates a safe space for women where they can laugh, cry and feel heard and witnessed.

Debbie offers a year-long “women’s journey” where the same group gather every six weeks in a roundhouse for Shamanic drum journeys as well as working through any past trauma or grief. And what effect does this have on her participants? “Women say it gives them the tools to go out into their lives,” says Debbie. “They feel a deeper connection to themselves and feel clearer in who they are.” This is very much the experience of Louise Roland who attends Debbie’s circles. “By being in circle we have this safe space to be ourselves and be vulnerable, says Louise. “It’s this feeling of freedom and peace. There’s magic and medicine in it – the medicine of us connecting to our hearts and being together.”

VIRTUAL CIRCLES

For those for whom it’s difficult to attend in person, virtual circles offer a chance to connect with women who have different life experiences and interesting stories, says Chris Maddox, founder of The Wild Woman Project, and who leads online circles with participants from all over the world. “There’s something really special when you’re in circle and you know that someone is on the other side of the planet,” says Chris, who uses tools like chat boxes and online break out spaces for small groups to share together.

Her Wild Woman Project circles (there are over 100 facilitators worldwide) have a set structure and the monthly theme changes with each new moon. “Our circles focus on the natural world, the elements and nature as a primary spiritual teacher,” says Chris. Often the theme is a text, sometimes a poem by Mary Oliver or Maya Angelou and the group will journal around those words.

Chris believes that after years of being second class citizens, lacking rights and, in some cases, the chance to receive an education or to work outside of the home, the circles now give women a chance to come together and harness a power and knowledge that has not been fully realised. “As a modern woman, you have so much opportunity that your grandmother and her grandmother did not have, so what are you going to do with it? I think meeting in circle helps you to be with that question in a meaningful way.”

“A key similarity with circles is that they’re for listening and not for solutions”