Lackof laughs was spooky

BBC screened Sliding Doors on Wednesday, the movie which suggests our lives depend entirely on the London tube network.

When Gwyneth Paltrow is delayed on her journey home she doesn’t catch the charlatan she’s living with cheating on her with his ex.

When the trains run on time she ends up with a sweetie like John Hannah.

I wonder if John was at home wondering how much better his life would have been had he not signed up to appear in Marley’s Ghosts.

This new original comedy for the Gold channel also aired on Wednesday and swiftly went down the tubes.

John played Adam, harddrinking husband to Marley.

Adam walked around in just his boxer shorts a lot to denote their marriage had gone stale and we swiftly learnt Marley was having an affair with an imbecile at work called Michael.

Before the first ad break Adam was dead, choking on a chicken bone while trying to save his wife from doing the same thing, but his wife could still see his ghost. At this turn of events she started to consume a lot of wine.

Then Michael also died, hit by a car when he was fleeing from Adam’s ghost, followed by the local vicar (Jo Joyner, presumably paying some sort of penance for mucking up the EastEnders live episode).

All three ghosts then took up residence on Marley’s comfortable sofa while she sat in her armchair pouring more wine.

But for a show that was full to the brim with alcohol it was disappointingly dry on laughs.

I really wish I hadn’t got the train home in time to watch it. Meanwhile, new series You,

Me & The Apocalypse was also getting under way on Sky1.

A comedy about the end of the Earth, it was well written, expertly produced and, most importantly, made me laugh.

I hope it never ends.