If we want women to work, we must also give kids their mothers back
WORKING mums (is there any other kind?) must somehow divide themselves in two.
One half is full-on mother – making sure food is in the cupboard, clothes are washed and ironed, gym kit is in the schoolbag.
The other half heads to work to face a new set of demands on their time. It’s modern life. It’s what we do. But last week I heard about mum-of-two Ruby McGregorSmith who, as boss of one of the UK’s largest firms, gave up her job because one of her children told her: “I want my mum back.”
Ruby has spent nine years juggling the pressures of a demanding career with being a mother to two kids. “It’s been tough,” she said. There isn’t a working mother in the country who would deny that.
But, now that her son wants to see more of his mum, she has decided to quit.
“It’s difficult to juggle life as a working mother,” she added.
“I’ve run a company for 10 years and it shows it’s possible to balance a home life and a working life.”
Ruby’s day started early, getting the children to school, doing “lift shares” with other mums, before going to the office to face the challenges of another working day.
In the evenings working mums try to find down-time with their family, to hear about their day, before falling into bed, exhausted, just to start it all over again the next day.
And always there is a nagging voice inside, asking: “Am I short-changing anyone?”
Ruby’s fortunate that she can afford to stop working. But thousands of others can’t.
Two wages means you can give your family the life you want for them.
But it angers me that childcare costs in Britain are by far the highest in the Western world.
A study last week found UK couples spend more than a third of their income on nurseries and childminders – more than three times the cost in France and Germany.
We need, as a country, to look at this. If we want women to have the chance to work and contribute to the economy, shouldn’t funded childcare be a priority?
We need to look at more flexible working hours for women and back-up arrangements for school holidays.
It’s time we stopped making women feel guilty about the decisions they make.
When I was a working mum I felt bad if I missed a school concert or sports day because of the job.
But, they survived it. Children have enormous resilience and adaptability. If they’re loved, cared for and understand they can talk to you about what’s going on in their lives, they will cope.
To work or not to work shouldn’t be a guilt trip for women.
It’s about choice, practicality and the decisions about what’s best for the whole family.