10 Questions for Eleanor Conway

COMEDIAN Eleanor Conway has made a name for herself by doing shows about her search for romance. In Valentine’s week she has lots of advice to offer anyone looking for Mr or Mrs Right and she is an expert in online dating. Eleanor plays the Glasgow Intern

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM INTERNET DATING?

That you have to work at it. The amount of messaging you have to go through to get to a first date is insane and then you may not fancy them when you meet. First dates should be 30 seconds long – enough to determine if they’re the type of man to wear shoes without socks.

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY?

Socks. No, just kidding. Er, height. A man needs to be taller than I am. I know it’s a cliche, but I think like most women I don’t want to be bigger than my partner. Also, humour and ambition is key.

YOUR FAVOURITE VALENTINE’S VERSE?

I love the suggestion that you even think I know anything about poetry.

FAVOURITE COMEDIANS?

Jim Jefferies who I insanely love. Katherine Ryan too. I just love comics who are blunt and unapologetic, qualities I admire. I think that’s why I loved Joan Rivers. She was strong and pioneering.

YOUR WORST DATE?

I met up with a guy on the basis that we’d both lived in South Korea, but he turned out to be really boring. When he went to the loo my mate texted asking how it was going and I texted back that he was pretty dull. Turns out I’d sent the reply to my date instead of my friend. Awkward.

WHAT’S THE GIVEAWAY THAT A GUY IS DESPERATE?

I don’t think I’ve ever dated a man who was desperate. I usually go for confident men.

HOW DO YOU RELAX WHEN MEETING SOMEONE?

Since giving up booze I’ve come to realise how much I relied on white wine to get me through first dates. Sober me can’t relax unless I know the person beforehand from real life.

DO YOU HAVE A ROUTINE BEFORE GOING ON A DATE?

Generally I do research on the person I’m about to see. I’m pretty good at stalking prospective dates online before we’ve

met.

MOST MEMORABLE HECKLE YOU’VE HAD AT YOUR SHOWS?

I once got heckled by an audience member who was weeing in a cup on stage.

YOU HAVE 24 HOURS LEFT TO LIVE. HOW

DO YOU SPEND IT?

I’d like to say I’d be spending it with my loved ones, contemplating life, love etc. But I’d probably be going out with a bang and getting wasted.