‘You were so happy that night. I can’t
Today is suicide awareness day but I don’t think we need a day for it. We need more awareness for suicide every day. Just over nine weeks ago I lost my amazing daughter Britney. I still feel completely in a daydream
Mixed emotions as our daughter Rhiannon turns 14. I don’t know the words to use. Normally it would be Happy Birthday but that just doesn’t seem right. I know today is going to be hard sweetheart, your first birthday without your big sister.
Britney’s birthday. I honestly don’t know where to start or what to write. I never thought a birthday would come when you wouldn’t be here. I want to wish you Happy Birthday but you are forever 16 in my heart. Happy heavenly 17th birthday. Would give anything to see and hear you again.
Halloween and the kids had a good night trick or treating. It hardly seems a year since you were helping them dress up Britney.
We all attend a mass at St Conval’s Cemetery for all those who died recently. I look to see how others are coping with their loss and wonder if I will ever feel happy again.
I can’t watch Children in Need because I know what it is like to lose a child. I am going to lock myself in my room. Need time to myself.
So I let Bradley and Rhiannon put up the Christmas tree. They have been asking for days. It’s so sad you are not here Britney to help decorate it. Your baubles are on the tree though. I am OK but on auto pilot trying to cope.
Today I’ve been mostly on autopilot. I keep thinking I’m going to see you today Britney. I want to say thanks to our family for inviting us to dinner. It’s what the kids need now.
Since Christmas Eve Venus, the brightest star in the sky, has been above my house. Tonight I take a photo it’s so bright, so calming as if you’re sending me love and strength.
Went to the carnival tonight sweetheart. It just wasn’t the same. No one dragging me on all the big rides and on to the next one before my head even stopped spinning. It’s 27 weeks since I heard you laugh.
I am just back from parliament petitioning them to change the law on prescribing lethal drugs to teenagers. I was listened to. Actually listened to! Britney my darling, we will win this. I am calling it Britney’s Plea.
Such a strange day today. Seems I’ve not had a minute to think. Strange for a Wednesday as I’m normally hid away. Your headstone is up tomorrow sweetheart.
Raymond’s birthday. Normally it would be happy day but I know you will find it hard. Your first one without your oldest daughter. I love you and you have been my everything for nearly 19 years now. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to get through each day.
My petition to the Scottish Parliament is progressing. A lot of people are not