My special friend has shut me out of her life. Should I try to win her back or just move on?

In April 2015 a lady came into my life. We worked together and got to know each other. My mother was recovering after breaking her hip and my friend was there for me throughout.

A year later the roles were reversed when her mum became ill and nearly died. She had other family problems too and I was there for her.

I have had troubles of my own and I was no longer happy in my job, after my friend left. I eventually found another job but found it put a strain on our friendship as I was working long hours and we weren’t able to meet up as often as I wanted.

Early last month I changed jobs and I am enjoying work and life again. I have got in contact with my friend again but things have changed. She has a new man in her life and has told me to leave her alone.

That is not the news I wanted to hear. I am not good when it comes to relationships.

We are both 50 next year so time is getting on.

Is there any advice you can give me to try to win her back as she is a special and true friend to me. I am not sure I could cope without her in my life. I will probably end up being a lonely man.

You may not want to hear this, but Ithink it is time you took a long hard look at the relationships you form.

You and your friend were there for each other at a time in your lives when you both needed support while caring for your mothers.

That was important and you formed a strong bond.

However, when you changed your job and were working long hours it put a strain on the relationship. That’s reallife – it isn’t always smooth and easygoing.

You sound surprised that when you got in touch with her again she’d met someone else. How long did you leave it before making contact with her again?

You must realise that relationships need to be worked at.

Your emotions are not the only ones which matter. Think ofthe other person and how they may be feeling.

What do you mean by ‘we are both 50 next year and time is getting on?’ It sounds a bit like self-pity. Remember you’re in the best years ofyour life.

You have to accept that this relationship is over and move on. Ofcourse you can cope without her. But the only way to avoid loneliness is to understand that friendship is a two-way partnership.

No matter what’s happening in your life – ifyou want a relationship ofany value you have to consider the other person, keep in touch, share time together, listen to each other and understand each other.

Iknow I’m being a bit frank with you but it’s in the hope that you willunderstand people a little better and hopefully fi nd the happiness you are looking for in the process.